Donald Trump: Flushing It All Away



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Via: ExtraNews

This Weak in Politics, Vol. 212The king on his throne Even by the crazy standards of the Trump era/error, this was a week for the ages. In the same week, articles of impeachment against the president of the United States have been drafted by the House, the sitting Attorney General joined the president in viciously attacking the FBI, Jewishness became a nationality rather than a religion in the United States, the president told, on camera, tales of people needing to flush their toilets 15 times, and then he attacked a 16 year old girl with asperger’s. Aside from that, this was a pretty normal week. We also want to be clear about something: if you think we have been beside ourselves with joy over the prospect of using immature potty jokes thanks to President Plumber’s toilet comments… wow! You really are a regular reader. Regular reader. See what we did there? We are also open to compensation for potty product placement such as this one: 2,000 Flushes, also known in the Trump household as 133 Trips to the Toilet. If you’re anything like us, when the president spoke of “some people” needing to flush 15 times, you knew damn well he was projecting. He does it constantly — ascribing to others negative attributes that are about 87% of his make-up. Well, we have a little secret trick for you. Whenever Trump says something about others that actually applies to him, remind yourself that he, Donald Trump, is the one. Do so by singing the song we sing daily: https://ift.tt/35lrBlK The historic impeachment hearings have been dominating the news as the action in the House now moves to a vote, setting the stage for the senate to pretend to play its role. On the House side, Republicans continued to try stalling the proceedings with a plethora (our word, definitely not theirs) of parliamentary maneuvers and moves to strike the last word. Bastards. Sorry — we move to strike that last word. The House committee now handling the impeachment proceedings is the House Judiciary Committee, whose chairman, Jerry Nadler, Trump used to call “Fat Jerry.” Nadler’s committee took over once the Intelligence Committee concluded its work under Chairman Adam Schiff (whom Trump once called “Adam Schitt.”) Schiff urged all members to take the impeachment issue seriously and to rationally analyze the evidence before them. He then urged everyone to “give a hoot, don’t pollute.” Chairman Adam Schiff Trump’s Republican allies are complaining that Democrats keep introducing facts to the proceedings, a tactic they say is designed to confuse their voters. One House member, John Ratcliffe, even suggested that some of the articles of impeachment will confuse Republican members of congress saying there are charges that some members have never heard of and wouldn’t understand. We aren’t going to name the members we believe Ratcliffe was referring to, but we can tell you they rhyme with “Gooey Lohmert,” “Cug Dollins,” “Ron Jatcliffe,” and “Jim Jordan.” On the Senate side, the impeachment will move to the Lindsey “Clyde” Graham-led Senate Judiciary Committee. Graham, who once called Trump a “jackass” and a “race-baiting, xenophobic bigot,” claims the Democrats inexplicably hate Trump. Another Trump-defense tactic employed by Republicans is to suggest that the revelation of the president’s crimes is worse than the president’s crimes. Fueling this was the release of a report by the Inspector General of the United States Department of Justice which found systemic errors in the FBI’s handling of the Trump Russia investigation. The IG was directed by the Trump administration to determine if there was a political or illegal genesis of the Trump investigation. The report stated that there is absolutely no evidence of bias or criminality, and that the investigation was opened on solid legal grounds. The GOP didn’t read that part — they stuck with the FBI wrongdoings part. It would be like reading the line “Call me Ishmael” and claiming you’ve read Moby Dick. Or like reading the line “В начале июля, в чрезвычайно жаркое время, под вечер, один молодой человек вышел из своей каморки, которую нанимал от жильцов в С — м переулке, на улицу и медленно, как бы в нерешимости, отправился к К — ну мосту” and claiming you’ve read Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment. Nonetheless, FBI-slamming has now become a core Republican value, along with tax-cutting, slut-shaming, and immigrant-tossing. And the president is leading the charge, calling the leadership of the FBI “scum.” Truth is, if Trump had his druthers (that means “way” for our Trump-supporting friends) he would run the FBI himself — a 21st century J. Edgar Hoover. In addition to a constitutional crisis, this would also create a big question: who would be his Clyde Tolson, Mike Pence (sp?) or Lindsey Graham? Maybe he could just settle for both… sort of a modern-day Donnie & Clyde… & Clyde. In other news, Trump has expanded the age range of women he has insulted. It now stands at a high of 86 years-old (Ruth Bader Ginsburg) and a new low of 16 years-old, as Trump attacked Greta Thunberg in a pique of jealous rage. The 16-year-old climate activist had the temerity to inspire the world and earn the title of Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year.” Trump has long sought the approval of Time Magazine, famously producing a fake cover with his face to display in all his golf course clubhouses. Speaking of Greta, is it just us, or…? Fearless girl (L). Fearless Girl ®. And that’s the way the weak spent the week in a nation where Republicans are arguing that Democrats have been trying to impeach Trump time and time and time again. Well, as Trump points out, for a job like this, sometimes it takes 10–15 flushes. https://ift.tt/35heUsb If you enjoy reading TWITPOL please seek help. But please also follow us, “clap” for this story, recommend it, share it, tweet it, and do all sorts of other things the kids these days do. Follow us on Medium.com and on twitter: @sbouchard67 https://ift.tt/2NSvnOH Donald Trump: Flushing It All Away was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.


Donald Trump: Flushing It All Away

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