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Via: ExtraNews
‘Category 5’ Imbecile Donald Trump Disrupts Tragic Mass Murders to Devote Time to Twitter War With Sitcom Comedienne.Trump vs. “Nasty Women” Buried in the news today are 8 more graves and 21 more people fighting for their lives, in hospitals, presumably so that Donald Trump can visit those hospitals and happily grin like an idiot with a gleeful thumbs-up pose for photo ops, reminiscent of whenever the Addams Family visits a cemetery. After the last mass shooting, Trump and Melania lavishly flew to El Paso, quickly procured a baby orphan as a prop for a photo-op, and completely disrupted a hospital where mass murder survivors were fighting for their lives. Oh, aren’t they FUN?!? They REALLY “lighten the mood” for 22 deaths and 24 injured. Here’s exactly what that looks like. Trump achieved this historic feat in his scant time in between — rounds of golf, “executive time”, demolishing the economy, demolishing the entire US agriculture market, giving giant tax cuts to billionaires, letting Kim Jong Un develop nuclear weapons to murder us all with, and tweeting like it’s always LSD-Thursday in Arkham Asylum. Trump, of course, as he does after every mass shooting, promised to strengthen gun laws. That old gag… So, by the end of the week, he’ll conveniently change what passes for his sawdust and mouse droppings “mind” as the NRA continues to rain dollars (or former-rubles) down upon the demonic, horned, racist heads of Trump and the GOP. Oh, Donald really had a full schedule of late. Here’s a list -WITH BULLET POINTS! As a terrified Puerto Rico sees a deadly hurricane approaching, Trump tweets out an amazing message of hope to Puerto Rico, just to stress that he won’t ever willingly provide them with disaster relief and that they should indeed panic. Trump claims to have never heard of a Category 5 hurricane, despite four of them occurring during his time as the first Russian-Elected-Presidential-Place-Holder. Deutsche Bank has everything anyone ever wanted to know about Trump laundering money for Russia and being highly indebted to Russia. Trump responds by INSISTING Russia be included in the next G6+1 summit, and that the summit be held in his BEDBUG INFESTED Doral Park Resort so that other countries can funnel money directly to Trump due to his disbelief of emollients clauses. In response to Trump’s plan of holding world summits in his own resorts breaking every letter of the law and the US Constitution, the head of the entire Justice Department, William Barr, leaps into action and rents one of Trump’s resorts to throw a lavish party in to the tune of 30–50,000 dollars. No, really. No, that really happened. Madeleine Westerhout leaves the White House to finish her self-help book — “Binge Drinking to Combat Guilt & Conscience to Help Facilitate Evil -An Informative Guide!” Trump had to begrudgingly release a statement saying he “loves” his other daughter,… whatever her name is, despite Trump not allowing her into any press photos or family photos. (For clarity, for those of you old enough to remember “The Munsters” TV show, Tiffany is the “Marilyn” character. A member of a family of ghoulish, horrifying, demonic, monsters, who is ostracized for having human features, thoughts, and mannerisms, in stark contrast to the rest of her family). To attempt to delay the oncoming recession that Trump, himself, caused due to his lack of knowledge about anything existing outside of himself, including global economics and US economies, Trump INVENTS HAVING POSITIVE PHONE-TALKS WITH CHINA. No, really. Trump opened up his mouth and somehow formed the words that he was in direct communication with China. Hilariously, he wasn’t. China immediately responded by saying “Děng děng… Shénme!?!”, or “等等… 什么” Which loosely translates to “Wait… WHAT!?!” So, with all this going on Trump decided the best thing to do, possibly the only thing to do, is to start a Twitter war with Debra Messing. That’s how he spent his day. As the Trump administration, a pyramid scheme built from sand and cruelty continues to crumble, Americans are preparing for a nosedive recession as further proof of the advantages of having sane, rational, adults in positions of great power. Until this rectifies we should expect to be killed in rivers of blood by deranged mass shooters with easy access to assault rifles due to deranged politicians selling our lives to the highest bidders. But rest assured when America was facing oncoming crisis and great adversity, Trump swooped into action like his hairdo and Tweeted his disparaging remarks to Debra Messing,… lest any of his dwindling supporters think he wouldn’t. Written by Steven W. Rouach FUN FACT: Every time you give a round of applause at the bottom of the page of one of my stories, I literally leap up and take a bow. True story. If You Follow Me, I Will Lead You Into Nonsense. Here’s my Facebook group (Join Us!!) https://ift.tt/2zc91w6 If you’d like to support my writing, please do so here: https://ift.tt/2zqRqRF swrouach@gmail.com ©2019 SWRouach ‘Category 5’ Imbecile Donald Trump Disrupts Tragic Mass Murders to Devote Time to Twitter War With… was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
