It’s Come to This: Demon Semen



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Via: ExtraNews

This Weak in Politics, Vol. 244 July 30, 2020 For all those who have wondered just how much more bizarre the Trump years could get? We have an answer. Things could get demon semen bizarre. That’s how much. Just when you thought there was no further to go, we learn that this one goes to eleven. While normally it mean seem, well… premature… to bring up demon semen so early in a piece, these are not normal times. For those of you who don’t know where this semen stuff is coming from, here’s the jizzt of the story: President Trump this week retweeted a video by a “Doctor” who says that schools should reopen, because there is a cure for COVID-19… hydroxychloroquine and that masks are unnecessary. Other views shared by this “doctor” include her theories that alien DNA is being used in the manufacture of otherwise earthly pharmaceuticals, that the illuminati are going to destroy the world through a witch and children’s toys, and, that many afflictions, including infertility, miscarriages, and endometriosis are the result of the demon sperm implanted by spirit husbands when people dream about having sex with witches and demons. Apparently, this has been a long-held secret hiding in plain-sight as this photo suggests. But seriously? Who the hell dreams of having sex with witches and demons? Wait, are genies witches? Asking for a friend. Remember, Donald J. Trump, the President of the United States, the man who criticized Dr. Anthony Fauci, not only retweeted the demon semen doctor, he later added she was part of a group of “very respected doctors” and that he thinks hers is a “very important voice.” Her voice is likely not even the most important voice in her head, yet it somehow is in the president’s. The important-voice-demon-sperm doctor didn’t specify what one should do if one wishes to become pregnant but has dreamed of getting it on with ghosts, banging Beezlebub, spooning a specter, doing demons, shagging shadows, well, you get the idea. However, we suspect immaculate ejaculate is the likely solution. Ok, we’ve spent enough time on that topic and adolescent innuendos. We’ll get off. This week the president supplanted his “communications” “director,” Kayleigh McEnany at all of the White House press briefings. This puts Republican lawmakers (and Republican lawbreakers) in an awkward spot because now, they have to pretend they don’t hear the shit he says, rather than their usual defense of pretending they don’t read the shit he tweets. And this week’s shittweets were doozies, including retweeting the aforementioned “doctor,” his usual smattering of racist tweets, advertising for a pizza joint, and openly questioning whether the November election should be delayed. While the news of Trump replacing Kayleigh McEnaney at the podium might upset her fans (McEnania nuts?), the president and his supporters feel that it will benefit him with his base if he is seen as the face of the coronavirus response. (Can you imagine sucking so bad that 4 million sick people and 152,000 dead ones are the brag-worthy bright spots of your administration?) The world of sports is proving it isn’t immune to bad news. In the NFL many big-name players are opting out of the still on-the-bubble 2020 season, and in baseball, a horrible virus lurks over the game: Alex Rodriguez still has a contract with Sunday Night Baseball. Finally, in other news, Louie Gohmert is still an asshole. And that’s the way the weak spent the week in a nation where… DID YOU NOT HEAR US??? THE PRESIDENT RETWEETED A DOCTOR WHO FEARS DEMON SPERM AND ALIEN DNA! That just had to make an awkward conversation around the Pence (sp?) family dinner table. If you enjoy reading TWITPOL please seek help. But please also follow us, “clap” for this story, recommend it, share it, tweet it, and do all sorts of other things the kids these days do. Follow us on Medium.com and on twitter: @sbouchard67 https://ift.tt/2NSvnOH It’s Come to This: Demon Semen was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.


It’s Come to This: Demon Semen

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