Mike Pence — The Mask of Zero and Other News



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Via: Medium

Mike Pence — The Mask of Zero and Other NewsThis Weak in Politics, Vol. 231 April 30, 2020 Well, there’s no masking it. This has been another week for the ages. Times like these we are enduring now call for focussed leadership, and let’s be honest, the president has been focused like a laser beam on the biggest problem facing the world in generations . . . Mike Flynn’s felony (which he pled guilty to). The president tweeted 27 times about Flynn and on eight occasions he retweeted a man who doesn’t think an average can be an odd number. (By the way, that’s 35 tweets, or an average of 17.5 per each subject). The president tweeted five times about polling, two times about Brian Williams, and one time accusing the Democrats of trying to steal the election. 54 Tweets in all. Oh, that wasn’t in the past week, that was in the past 12 hours. Seriously. As for coronavirus, Trump has stepped back a little, at least from the official White House Coronavirus Press Shit Shows. Though he does still weigh in (at 239 lbs. he claims) from time to time. Among the reasons Trump is easing off of the press briefings is because a) he is batshit crazy, and putting that on display for a couple of hours a day is not a great idea, and b) his re-election numbers are slipping. The president can’t afford that — re-election is too important to him. His goal was turn the entire map red. And by golly he’s succeeded. Trump 2020 Trump said the race for a vaccine is ongoing and that he himself, not some doctor, is in charge. We don’t know about you, but we’re a little less than thrilled that the man who believes he’s in charge of creating a COVID-19 vaccine is one who thinks paper towels are flood relief or that injecting disinfectants or inserting light into the body could be the miracle that makes coronavirus go away. The same man who struggles with bottles of water, pen caps, glasses of water, and toilet paper (plus he knows people who need to flush 15 times), and who shoves leaders out of his way, steps in front of queens, likes to play trucks, and can’t spell his own wife’s name — which you would think he would know, after all, she does have a son. The man in charge of developing a coronavirus vaccine. No, not the immunologist in the center, the baboon in the rest of the photos. That said, we will give credit where and when credit is due. If Trump indeed develops a vaccine and does so with warp speed, we will personally nominate him for a Noble Prize. That would be quite the honor . . . no US president has ever won the Noble Prize. But Trump is not the big news star of the week this week . . . for a change. No, that honor goes to Mother’s husband, Mike Pence (sp?), who this week brought his traveling “do as we say not as we do” germ-spreading tour to Minnesota. Now, before we get to the details, let us remind you… Mike Pence is in charge of the White House Coronavirus Task Force. We don’t think it’s unfair to say the task force has not exactly been a good power of example. Why do we say that? Funny you should ask… Here’s the task force chair shortly after telling Americans to avoid touching their face. Here are task force members after telling Americans not to shake hands. Here they are telling the American people to practice social distancing. So, it should come as no surprise that the Vice President recently gave some mixed signals as he toured the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota and visited an employee donating plasma. See if your keen eyes can spot something wrong with this photo: The masklessness (we should coin that) was evident to everyone, leaving Mayo Clinic patients and staff asking, “Who was that unmasked man? And why did he leave his silver droplets all over the fucking place?” We are being a little harsh on Pence here, and we almost feel bad about it. Truth is, and in his defense, while others at the site were in fact wearing masks, Mike Pence is an asshole. Pence’s “wife,” Karen “Mother” Pence (sp?) later explained that the Vice President wasn’t aware that the clinic had a mandatory mask policy. Look at that photo again, and simultaneously recall the group Pence is chairing. Either mother is lying, or Pence lied to mother. We have a hard time believing mother would lie on her own, which leaves only the other alternative. Mother is not going to be happy. Finally, speaking of people who aren’t happy, protesters took to the capitol of Militiagan again this week to spread freedom and coronavirus droplets. The protests, which are populated largely by groups of white people known as “Louie Gohmert Societies,” have been storming state houses around the country while carrying firearms and shouting at elected officials to protest their lack of freedom. The protests have notably looked like a breeding ground for viruses. In fact, they are such a violation of the coronavirus social-distancing/mask-wearing protocols that one half expects to see Mike Pence at one of these. If you spot Mike Pence, or if you are @OliviaMunn or @NicolleDWallace, drop us a note. And that’s the way the weak spent the week in a nation where the only two people who aren’t social-distancing and wearing masks are thanking the American people for listening to them by social-distancing and wearing masks. If only they started working on this 1,068,696 cases and 62,906 deaths ago. If you enjoy reading TWITPOL please seek help. But please also follow us, “clap” for this story, recommend it, share it, tweet it, and do all sorts of other things the kids these days do. Follow us on Medium.com and on twitter: @sbouchard67 https://ift.tt/2NSvnOH Mike Pence — The Mask of Zero and Other News was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.


Mike Pence — The Mask of Zero and Other News

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