Donald Trump Covers Sinatra: The Test is Yet To Come…



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Via: ExtraNews

This Weak in Politics, Vol. 230 April 23, 2020 Imagine you went into a coma on November 7, 2016. Lucky bastard. Now we’ve forgotten where we were going with that. Oh, yes. Imagine you went into a coma on November 7, 2016 and you woke up today to learn that Donald Trump is the President of the United States, there’s a deadly pandemic that has the world locked in their houses (except for Florida beaches, South Carolina, and Georgia’s tattoo parlors and happy endings joints), the US pandemic response is being partially led by a Labradoodle breeder, and both Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski play for the Tampa Bay Bucanneers. It still would have been worth it to skip the past three years. Just saying. We digress before we even began to gress. As noted above, the coronavirus pandemic continues to wreak havoc on the entire civilized world, plus the United States. Meanwhile, President Donald Trump (yes, coma dude, we were serious) has been hard at work trying to secure sufficient COVID-19 testing capacity and to develop a sophisticated contact tracing program so states, in time, can re-open safely. Just kidding. He’s been scapegoating Mexicans, trying to break the postal service, tweet-threatening to “shoot down” Iranian boats, and congratulating himself while openly wondering why everyone else is slow to praise him. On a serious note— humor is our means of coping. We are trying to laugh through the pain, and in no way do we mean to disrespect victims of COVID-19. For our serious piece about it (which was about as widely read as a science book at a Republican National Convention) click here. As for that testing, it continues to be a hot topic. All of you, save for coma guy, will likely recall that on March 6th (864,204 US coronavirus cases ago), President Trump dismissively said that anyone who wants to get tested can get tested. And still, the tests are yet to come. It’s almost as if Trump isn’t being entirely truthful, shocking as that might be. And his sidekick, Mike Pence (sp?), who has Trump’s taint all over him (AND whose reputation has been tarnished by his closeness with Trump as well) promised those same 864,204 cases ago that we would have 4 million tests completed by then of that week (March 6). We are still at 4 million tests. We are not suggesting that this lag in testing was caused by the fact that the effort is being led by a man who bankrupted a casino, a man who doesn’t believe in evolution, and the aforementioned Labradoodle breeder. Ok. Yes, we are suggesting that. But, as a friend of TWITPOL pointed out today, while we have indeed had 864,415 domestic cases of coronavirus, not a SINGLE Labradoodle has tested positive. #Winning! By and large, our nation’s governors have handled the crisis much more capably than our president. Then again — Labradoodle guy and the coma guy have as well, so the bar was pretty low. The exceptions to the “governors handling this well” thing come from, to no one’s surprise, places like Georgia, Tennessee, South Carolina, and perennial champion Florida, which has really upped its “we can be worse than South Carolina!” game when it elected Governor Ron DeSantis, seen here putting his mask on… sideways. https://ift.tt/3cJpZFC As for his donning of the mask, truth is, in some respects he’s doing it right. He needs to leave the “chin strap” loose in case he has to try to make a play on a foul pop-up. And, he’s right to wear protective covering so he doesn’t get Trump’s taint on him. Or at least that it won’t slap him on the chin. Yes, yes… we know. Two taint jokes in one issue. There’s a fucking pandemic! You try writing in these conditions without making taint jokes. It’s impossible. Don’t just take our word for it. While we are on the subject of religion, we’d like to take a moment to remind the Trump-loving dunderheads protesting to open the hairdresser’s shop that preventing the spread of illness comes directly out of your bible. The Ninth and Tenth Commandment (while not as cherished as your 2nd amendment) make it clear that Thou shalt not covid thy neighbor’s wife and thou shall not covid thy neighbor’s goods. So stay the fuck at home. Now, we will close with some good news. And, despite what it may feel like, there is much to be positive about. For example, over the past 6 weeks, mankind’s inexorable descent into destroying our planet and every living creature on it has been slightly slowed. #MoreWinning! In addition, during that same period, the United States is enjoying our longest break from school shootings in nearly two decades! Plus… well, really that’s the only good news. But still, it beats a stick in the eye or having to live in Georgia. Or Florida. And that’s the way the weak spent all 467 days of this week in a nation where our leaders during this pandemic still can’t quite figure out how to wear a mask. https://ift.tt/2VVnU2C If you enjoy reading TWITPOL please seek help. But please also follow us, “clap” for this story, recommend it, share it, tweet it, and do all sorts of other things the kids these days do. Follow us on Medium.com and on twitter: @sbouchard67 https://ift.tt/2NSvnOH Donald Trump Covers Sinatra: The Test is Yet To Come… was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.


Donald Trump Covers Sinatra: The Test is Yet To Come…

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