Below is an extract of a post published on Medium titled "Democratic Primary: JoJo Grabbed It"
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Via: Medium
This Weak in Politics, Vol. 223 March 5, 2020 Unless you’ve been in quarantine from the coronavirus and you’ve lost your internet, you know the big news of this week: the Democratic Party— the party of youth, diversity and fresh faces, has narrowed its field of candidates to two white career-politicians in their late 70s. As there were a record number of diverse candidates at the beginning of the campaign that outcome is somewhat surprising. Ok, no it isn’t. But what is surprising is the fact that Joe “Lazarus” Biden is the new frontrunner. Again. He earned this spot with an unexpected and resounding series of victories this week. We’re not going to use tired plays on words like “Joementum” to describe the Super Tuesday results, but we do have to wonder if the breadth of the support of Biden’s opponent, Bernie Sanders, might have been Joeverblown. The sheer magnitude of the walloping caught Sanders’s supporters completely off guard, with many of them asking, “Why don’t the stupid fucking corporate pig whore voters like us?” These supporters argue that the 78 year-old Vermonter who had a heart attack 4 months ago and won’t release his medical records, who identifies as being too liberal for the Democratic Party, and who is on video numerous times praising the Soviet Union is best suited to win a general election. Slightly cutting into that argument is the pesky fact that Sanders is trailing former Vice President Biden in some key demographic groups, including: people with college degrees, people without college degrees, Democrats, Republicans, moderates, conservatives, those who identify as somewhat liberal, the age group that has the highest turnout, African-Americans, men, women, and, people who have voted. Aside from these groups, their electability argument seems solid. We’d be remiss if we didn’t note the departure from the race of Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren. Warren announced Thursday morning that she is ending her campaign — a campaign which began with tremendously high hopes and expectations. If Warren were a man, her first name would be really weird. But also, were she a man, her run for the presidency might have gone a little differently. It certainly wasn’t lack of intellect, talent, or balls (in the figurative sense) that did her in — did you see the way she womanhandled Mayor Bloomberg, one of the wealthiest and most powerful men to ever walk the planet? The reality is Elizabeth Warren’s failure to gain sustained traction can best be summarized in what we call “The Four ‘U’s” 1. U-niversal healthcare issue 2. U-niversity costs debate 3. You- didn’t see much coverage of her on the cable news channels. 4. U-terus, namely, possession of one. We were originally going to say, “Warren’s loss wasn’t from over-exposure or over-confidence, it was ovar-ies.” Then that got us down a rabbit hole — or ‘rabbit warren’ if you will: It wasn’t Virginia, it was vagina. It wasn’t Mississippi, it was Misogyny. In any event we stopped. Don’t make us mansplain why. To be fair, sexism wasn’t the only reason Warren lost, but there can be no denying it was one of the reasons. Let’s be honest, if she had a campaign song it would be: Or Which got us to thinking, what songs or albums best represent each of the remaining candidates? Here are the answers: Feel the bourn So, the Democratic field has been narrowed down to Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden, with the prospect of a long and protracted fight looming. This is causing significant angst among those who want Trump defeated in November. Biden loyalists argue that his strength in the south, and his potential appeal in the Midwest — places like Michigan, Indiana, Wisconsin, Missouri — make him the strongest candidate to take on Trump. Sanders’s supporters, meanwhile, argue that Bernie is very popular in states like Vermont, Colorado, and California, and places in the east, such as: Vladivostok, Volgograd, and Moscow. Democratic concerns about the 2020 general election are well-founded. The economy is performing in a way that portends re-election for a president, and Republican efforts to suppress the vote are now protected by the McConnell courts. Additionally, the youth vote might now be up for grabs as Donald Trump will be the youngest candidate running. That being said, COVID-19, aka the coronavirus, and the Trump administration’s response to it pose grave danger (3.4% grave danger for those inflicted) to the president’s re-election effort. The president, in his typical style, has been making shit up about the virus as he goes along, saying among other things that the virus will be gone when the weather gets warmer, that it is very much like the flu, and that people with the illness can still go to work. This stands in contrast to expert analysis of this and past epidemics. In fact, insofar as communicability, doctors’ zika manual states, “We don’t know how similar or dissimilar this is to the flu. We know one thing. It is actually more communicable than the flu. It passes between people very, very easily.” Editor’s note: We’ve been informed that the above quote is not from doctors’ zika manual, but from Dr. Zeke Emanuel. We apologize for the confusion, but it was an easy error to make. Zika manual, left. Zeke Emanuel, right. As it began to become evident even to Fox viewers that the virus was still going strong despite the president’s assertions it wasn’t, Trump did what he does best in these situations — handed off the work and blamed the black guy. The virus is certainly going to play in the early stages of the election campaign and threatens to be a problem for the president should it keep spreading through the summer. Democrats will make sure Trump doesn’t get away with blaming Obama and will give ownership of the virus to the Trump administration. With the stakes being so high, Trump took a giant gamble by putting Mike Pence (sp?) in charge of the US response to corona. But with Pence having a poor track record on handling health crises and having no grounding in science, Trump has total faith in him. In fact, we suspect it’s only a matter of time before Trump appoints Pence to head a White House conversion therapy working group as well. Hell, they already have a slogan. And that’s the way the weak spent the week in a nation where a man who raw-dogged a porn star in the early 2000s is educating us all on how to avoid contracting a virus. If you enjoy reading TWITPOL please seek help. But please also follow us, “clap” for this story, recommend it, share it, tweet it, and do all sorts of other things the kids these days do. Follow us on Medium.com and on twitter: @sbouchard67 https://ift.tt/2NSvnOH Democratic Primary: JoJo Grabbed It was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
