2020 Iowa Democratic Cauc-up



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Via: ExtraNews

This Weak in Politics, Vol. 219 Crowd photo: Joseph Cress/Iowa City Press-Citizen/AP February 6, 2020 This week the news was dominated by two democratic failures — one big “D” and one small “d.” And that is what we’ll focus on this week. The big D Democratic failure was this week’s Iowa Democratic caucuses. If we were to toast to this fiasco, we would use New Coke. Yes, it was that epic a failure. This was the Ishtar of elections. Now, in fairness to the Hawkeye state, this was the first time the Iowa caucus got considerably f’ed up since the last time the Iowa caucuses were held. First off, as seasoned veterans we can tell you that NO ONE outside of Iowa understands the Iowa caucus system at all. But at least when it comes to people actually living in the state — no one understands the Iowa caucus system at all. This is because the caucus system was developed in the Precambrian era. (Translated literally: before Cambrian.) Further exacerbating the issue was the fact that some decided that the best way to really screw up an archaic, antiquated system was to put it into an app and give it to people who a) still have VCR’s and b) still can’t set the clock on them. The caucuses operate on a carefully crafted delegate allocation formula designed to ensure that no one can ever know who won. Words fail us, so here is the formula itself. (Note: it might be formulae. We simply can’t tell. No one can.) The next step for this world-class disaster is to have twenty-something year-old out-of-staters with little understanding of the culture or technological wherewithal of the state design an app in a tech lab somewhere on the east coast without testing real conditions. Then, to really complete the tour de farce, give said app to people who, by and large, still own flip phones and don’t train them. All of this raises one important question. Well, two actually. First, why on earth would a nation that is ostensibly a democracy (small d) use this system to select a presidential nominee, and second: The end result is this: as of this writing, the Iowa Democratic Caucuses wrapped up approximately 72 hours ago and we still don’t know who won, let alone who received the most state delegate equivalents, or what state delegate equivalents are. This has denied the winner, whoever he or she may be, a well-earned victory lap. If that winner is Mayor Pete Buttigieg, his would be a groundbreaking and historic victory. Not to put too fine a point on it, but, there’s a large group people who will thus have been denied a well-earned celebration. And if there are two things this group loves, they are equality and a parade. https://ift.tt/381fCuZ A side note on the Des Moines Debacle: The company that “designed” the inept app was called “Shadow Inc.” What’s the deal with people naming their shady businesses with shady names? Fraud Guaranty, Shadow Inc., The Trump Organization. It would be like the French construction crew who worked on Notre Dame calling themselves “Les Starters du Fire.” The other big news of the week — the small “d” failure if you will — is that, as expected, the Republican controlled U.S. Senate acquitted Donald Trump on both impeachment counts passed by the House. Despite the fact that the allegations against Trump fit him like a glove, this week, Mitch McConnell and his crew decided the impeachment glove didn’t fit, so they had to acquit. The Republicans/White House/Defense team argued that even though the president didn’t break any “laws,” the Democrats were treating him like a common criminikalook. https://ift.tt/2vSaoU4 So they acquitted the pussy-grabbing president to protect the dignity of the office. The news wasn’t all good for Trump — he remains impeached for life, and he has the distinction of both getting the most — and the first bi-partisan — guilty votes of any president in history. Still, the president — unlike Pete Buttigieg — can take a victory lap this week. And believe us, he will. And despite some masterful lawyering by Adam Schiff, the president’s lawyers can ignore the fact that the jury was fixed and brag about their defense of the president. In short, the only real surprise to emerge from the impeachment trial is that the Capone’s vault that we thought was the backside of Mitt Romney actually did contain a spine! And that’s the way the weak spent the week in a nation where we’ve gone from honoring this: https://ift.tt/2GYcN1Y To honoring this: https://ift.tt/2H0TC7x Great again our ass! If you enjoy reading TWITPOL please seek help. But please also follow us, “clap” for this story, recommend it, share it, tweet it, and do all sorts of other things the kids these days do. Follow us on Medium.com and on twitter: @sbouchard67 https://ift.tt/2NSvnOH 2020 Iowa Democratic Cauc-up was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.


2020 Iowa Democratic Cauc-up

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