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Via: ExtraNews
This Weak in Politics, Vol. 216 January 16, 2019 Well, this is a HUGE news week. Unless you have been living under a rock, you know that this week, the U.S. Justice Department effectively shut down its investigation of Hillary Clinton and found no wrongdoing. Just kidding. That wasn’t big news. It’s more of a dog bites man story, or in this instance, dog finds that Trump’s claims of Hillary’s guilt are as much bullshit as everything else he says. So, to the real news… For the third time in our nation’s history, an impeachment trial of a sitting president is underway in the United States Senate. In normal circumstances, this could well be called the trial of the century. But, with this being the Trump administration, we are only comfortable calling it the trial of the month. In reality, it is not expected to be much of a trial. While Chief Justice John “Bob” Roberts will be the titular presiding officer, the real power lies in the Republican caucus. (And for that matter, the real lies are powered in the Republican caucus, so it’s only fitting.) In other words, Mitch McConnell, the Boca Raton* of the legislative branch, is actually setting the rules, and the jurors are the Senate, which has a Republican majority. There was a time when law and order meant something in the Republican Party, but let’s be honest, these guys are the Fraud Guaranty of 21st century American politics. Even Lindsey Graham, who was once an ardent house impeachment manager claiming fealty to the constitution, is a shadow of his former shadow. Hell, he’s a shadow of his former shadow’s shadow. *Where things go to die. So, where is there any hope? Well, as the old saying goes, “if you want to find hope, it’s between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.” Ok, so we may have gotten that confused with something else, the point stands. Putting your hopes for doing the right thing on the shoulders of Mitt Romney is like asking RBG to give Donald trump a piggyback ride, or asking Mitch McConnell not to suck. For the record, we totally think she could do it. And why are Republicans abandoning their foundational principles? To protect the most corrupt man in the United States. No, not Bill Barr. Donald J. Trump. Many of the GOP senators have already stated they were going to vote to acquit him, in fact, and didn’t need to see or hear any new (or old) evidence. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell holding a press conference to discuss how he proposes to handle the impeachment trial as fellow Republicans look on And the evidence against Trump has only gotten more compelling as time passes. Just this week, Rudy Giuliani’s business partner, Lev Parnas, answered the famous historical question, “What did the president know and when did he know it?” with, “Everything” and “From day one.” Parnas clearly implicated the president in the scheme involving Parnas and his business associates, the late Rudy Giuliani, and Igor Fruman. Whodathunk that a Russian/Ukrainian-funded “business” established by Rudy Giuliani, Les Parnas, and Igor Furman, called “Fraud Guaranty” would somehow run into legal troubles? No one could have picked up on those signs. Well, okay, the 2017 Houston Astros and the 2018 Boston Red Sox could, but that’s it. Credit where credit is due, though — at least the fine felons at Fraud Guaranty are up front. Wouldn’t it be grand if every business were so transparent in what they actually are? For instance: If nothing else, the impeachment trial and the Lev Parnas bombshell give CNN and Fox something to cover other than Malaysian air disasters and Hillary Clinton, respectively. Just kidding, Fox is still covering Hillary Clinton. And not respectively. (Yes, yes…we know. But Trump supporters will think that’s the right word.) Besides, the news outside of the impeachment realm isn’t exactly a bed of roses itself. For example, Gwyneth Paltrow is selling candles that smell like her vagina. (Maybe THAT’S what they mean by “yank-ee candle?”) Look, we are sure Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina smells just lovely, but there’s a time and place for everything. Though it did get us to thinking that maybe we should try to develop a product that smells like a dick. Shit. Someone beat us to it. On the international news front, things aren’t that much better — probably not presidential impeachment bad, but maybe vajayjay candles bad. Take Russia for instance. This week the Prime Minister and the entire cabinet resigned en masse. Think of that. Can you imagine how awful it would be if our cabinet resigned en… hmmmm. You can do that? Russophiles (we may have made that word up) are saying that the move was orchestrated by Vladimir Putin as a way to allow him to return to the presidency in 2024. Sort of a flashback to 2008 when Prime Minister Timmy Medvedev briefly swapped places with Putin (who was then president) and served as a placeholder for a term until Putin could return without having to kill too many people. Putin and Medvedev war gaming the Middle East crisis For those of you Americans who don’t understand the relationship between Putin and Medvedev, here’s a simple explanation: Medvedev is to Putin what Trump is to Putin. And that’s the way the weak spent the week in a nation where the Speaker of the House gave legislators commemorative impeachment pens. What an unprecedented sham! Washington Post, Jan. 8, 1999 If you enjoy reading TWITPOL please seek help. But please also follow us, “clap” for this story, recommend it, share it, tweet it, and do all sorts of other things the kids these days do. Follow us on Medium.com and on twitter: @sbouchard67 https://ift.tt/2NSvnOH If it Keeps on Raining, Lev (Parnas) is Gonna Break was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
