Republicans: Can’t See the Forest for the Sleaze



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Via: ExtraNews

This Weak in Politics, Vol. 209 November 20, 2019 This is the week where we begin to learn who we are as a nation. Well, sure, we know we are currently a corrupt oligarchy/banana republic being led by a chimp — but we will learn who we CAN be as a country. Ok. Fine… a corrupt oligarchy/banana republic being led by a chimp. So, let’s just get to the news. First — let’s start with an update on said chimp. President Trump this week went to an undisclosed, but “previously scheduled first round,” of his annual physical which isn’t due for another 3–4 months. Makes absolute sense. When you have a 73 yr. old man who weighs north of 250 lbs., doesn’t exercise, eats fast-food, works 15–20 hours a week and is being impeached, the best thing to do is to work off of old bloodwork a quarter of a year after collecting it. On this same topic, we aren’t saying that the President and First Lady don’t communicate well, but the president had a regularly scheduled checkup and the first lady learned about it on TV and thought it was a heart attack. Sources inside the East Wing tell us that when the first lady heard about the president’s possible heart attack, she had one thing — and one thing only — on her mind. The safety and well-being of her… nah. It was Justin Trudeau. Think we’re kidding? We aren’t. We’re as serious as a… regularly scheduled Saturday routine checkup no one knew about. Melania wasn’t alone in being startled by the potential presidential heart attack. Upon hearing the news, Vice President Mike Pence (sp?) immediately dropped to his knees. (To pray! Sickos.) Sure enough, Trump returned to the White House a couple hours later. Sorry, Mike, but as the saying goes…it’s not that God doesn’t answer all our prayers, it’s just that sometimes his answer is no. https://ift.tt/35mem3O Now on to the impeachment, or “chimpeachment” if you will. There were bombshells aplenty this week. The Democrats had witnesses who testified that yes, there was a quid pro quo, yes, the Ukrainians knew aid was being held up until Trump got a needed boost for his 2020 re-election, yes, it was directed by the president, and yes, just about everyone knew the details. Republicans had, well… Devin Nunes. Bless his heart (as John Bel Edwards might say.) https://ift.tt/2OvKCL4 That’s not entirely true. The Republicans have much more than “just Devin Nunes.” They have their best and brightest on the inaptly named “Intelligence Committee.” A question related to the above photo — if GOP Intel Committee members were truly only 14 IQ points short (collectively) of making it into MENSA, what would be their quickest way to gain 14 points?* (The answer appears at the end of this issue.) If you know the answer, or if you are @NicolleDWallace, send us a note. The best the Republicans could muster up was that one of the witnesses who testified this week — Ambassador Gordon Goofenshtein — said that President Trump told him that he “did not want a quid pro quo.” Now, there’s a pesky little detail here that he left out…Trump said this after word of the quid pro quo had not only been reported by the whistle blower but was also already appearing in the press. Despite that little detail, the Republicans stuck to their talking points and were reading off the same page. In the president’s case, we mean literally. One of the biggest revelations from the impeachment hearings this week was the extent to which Secretary of Hate Mike Pompeo was in the loop. Ambassador Sondland pummeled any notion that the quid pro quo “drug deal,” a description coined by singer Michael Bolton, was run through extra-governmental channels. Pompeo, who has been in hiding along with Mike Pence (sp?), Rudy Giuliani, and Don Jr., in what is called the “Witless Protection Program,” had so far kept some degree of distance between himself and the Ukraine fiasco. Sondland put an end to that, as millions of Americans watched on their television screens. Sondland, who paid a million dollars for his ambassadorship, argued that only the most-qualified governmental authorities were involved in carrying out Ukrainian policy for the president — himself, Rudy Giuliani, Rick Perry, and Mike Pompeo. Here’s a clip from his testimony on that very issue. https://ift.tt/2QHmvMi Overall, the Republican argument has shifted from “there was no quid pro quo” to “Trump is incredibly interested in the issue of corruption.” True enough. Unfortunately for them though, he is on the “pro” side. We aren’t sure that trying to convince the nation that the sex-offending, student-frauding, contractor-shafting, bankruptcy-filing, tax-cheating, compulsive-lying, hush-money-to-porn-star-paying, unnamed co-conspirator who is fleeing his home state post-presidency to avoid charges is actually focused like a laser-beam on ending corruption is your best argument. But that’s just us. We’re weird like that. As for the Democrats, House Democrats are having a solid week as they are artfully laying out a compelling case for Articles of Impeachment against Donald J. Trump. Senate Democrats are — well, we’re not sure where they are or what they’re doing — through no fault of their own — but we wish them well. For the 167 Democrats (plus Tulsi Gabbard) still running for president, it has been a rough news cycle to try to inject oneself. Yet still, they try. This week they held another debate — trying to break into impeachmentpalooza — with limited success, as this memo from Nielsen shows. And that’s the way the weak spent the week in a nation where the party in power is shunting aside decorated veterans and honored diplomats so these guys can run our foreign policy: Sleep well. Answer to photo question: How could the GOP Intelligence Committee quickly gain 14 IQ points? Ask Nunes to leave. If you enjoy reading TWITPOL please seek help. But please also follow us, “clap” for this story, recommend it, share it, tweet it, and do all sorts of other things the kids these days do. Follow us on Medium.com and on twitter: @sbouchard67 https://ift.tt/2NSvnOH Republicans: Can’t See the Forest for the Sleaze was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.


Republicans: Can’t See the Forest for the Sleaze

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