Below is an extract of a post published on Medium titled "GOP: Kentucky Fried Chickens Who Waffle"
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Via: Medium
This Weak in Politics, Vol. 207 November 7, 2019 In case you’re a Fox “News” watcher and therefore haven’t seen any “news,” we’ll start with the obvious big news of this week: No, not the Summer Zervos case wherein we now know Donald Trump called her numerous times around the time she says he sexually assaulted her. And no, not the E. Jean Carroll case in which another woman who says Trump assaulted her is suing him for defamation. No, not the emoluments case, or the court ruling ordering Trump to release his tax returns to officials investigating his payments to porn stars with whom he had affairs. Not the impeachment inquiry or the $2 million fine he has to pay for diverting money from his charity foundation to his campaign. In this instance we meant the 2019 elections, which seem to be a continuation of the 2018 election, and hopefully, a preview of the 2020 election. Democrats took control of the Virginia legislature giving them one-party control for the first time in a generation, and a Democratic candidate for governor did much better than normal in ruby-red Mississippi. But, if Tim Russert were alive today, he’d be saying… “wait…what? THE Donald Trump? President of THE United States? What are you gonna tell me next, we elected a black president?” Then he’d say “Kentucky, Kentucky, Kentucky.” That’s because Democrat Andy Beshear defeated incumbent turd-nugget Matt Bevin in the commonwealth’s gubernatorial election. That last one, Kentucky, is the one that will give Republicans the most agita. That’s because Kentucky is a “state” that Trump won in 2016 by 30 points. Republicans are quick to shrug this off, saying Bevin was universally hated for his…Bevin-ness. However, it should be noted that Kentucky voted for Trump by a huge margin, and regularly elects Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul. Electing turd-nuggets has historically been Kentucky’s pastime. It’s a KY hobby… a KY jam. (Which should not be confused with KY Jelly.) Speaking of turd-nuggets, Jefferson Beauregard Turd-Nugget Sessions, III is seeking to make a political comeback by running again for the United States Senate. This puts Alabama in an awkward spot as Trump and his supporters will likely be rooting for the child molester over the disgraced former Attorney General, while moderate, centrist Republicans prefer disgraced former AGs. In impeachment news, this was a busy week. We learned there were approximately 11 people inside the beltway who weren’t on the infamous quid pro quo call. (That’s a tough thing to say, let alone type. From now on, we’re going to refer to it as the quid pro quall. Seems everybody in the administration (and their brothers and sisters) was listening in on the quall and are testifying that it was the quiddest of pro quos. Some are even going back to amend their testimony, mostly because things are starting to get a little perjury-y. Chief among those is Trump mega-donor turned ambassador, Gordon Sondland (or Sunderland if you’re Lindsey Graham. If you are, we’re sorry — that sucks.) Here’s a small taste of Sondland’s backtracking: https://ift.tt/2oXB2I5 We also learned that Rudy Giuliani is a scumbag. Just kidding. That cat got out of the bag so long ago even Tim Russert knew. But we did learn that his role in the Ukrainian scandal was deeper and broader than previously known. However, at TWITPOL, we’ve long focused on the man we like to call “America’s Piece of Shit,” as this collage shows. Seems Giuliani’s conducting of US foreign policy was not well received by people who are actually qualified to conduct US foreign policy. With good reason. So far, Rudy and his clown posse (great name for a band) seem a few cards short of a full deck. As an example, Rudy and his partners in crime (literally) established a business venture which they called, we shit you not, “Fraud Guaranty.” Look, we know Trump’s modus operandi is committing crimes in the wide open, but this takes that to an entirely different level. If these guys owned their own calamari outlet, here’s what they’d call it: For what it’s worth — we think Rudy’s role will prove even larger: Rudy takes the fall. Says quid pro quo was his idea, that Trump never asked for it. Rudy created the impression that his directing the quid pro quo was on Trump’s behalf. Trump is thereby exonerated, Rudy is pardoned, and our long national nightmare is extended. What? Crazy prediction? Were we right about Hillary Clinton and the Astros? Ok. Bad examples. We also learned Trump wanted his Attorney General to hold a press conference saying that Trump did nothing wrong. Using this AG as a barometer of ethical behavior? That’s a low Barr. That being said, the GOP writ large doesn’t need the AG to help their justification on this one. Their arguments have devolved from “the call was perfect,” to “there was no quid pro quo,” to “the Ukrainians weren’t aware,” to “it’s not illegal — it happens all the time,” to “the President and the Administration are so inept and disorganized they couldn’t possibly conspire to engage in a quid pro quo,” to this: https://ift.tt/33wZuiA By the time we get to a trial, this will be their argument: https://ift.tt/2JYVyze The Washington Nationals were feted in the nation’s capital this week following their improbable World Series win last week. The Nationals join the Washington Mystics and the Washington Capitals as recent DC title winners. Inexplicably, the Washington Redskins seem to be stuck — having not been real contenders since the days before we all knew their name was offensive. Seriously…the Redskins? It would be like Arizona’s baseball team being called the Wetbacks, or a Canadian hockey team being called the Canucks. Oh shit. In any event, Redskins owner, Mr. D. Snyder, who, if not for Trump, might be considered the most inept rich guy in DC, is unlikely to drain his own swamp and usher in success. Redskins owner D. Snyder And that’s the way the weak spent the week in a nation where the president — 3 years into what he hopes is an 8-year presidency — is trying to line up a reality show tying into his White House service. And some think criminals can’t profit from their crimes! https://ift.tt/34HbM86 If you enjoy reading TWITPOL please seek help. But please also follow us, “clap” for this story, recommend it, share it, tweet it, and do all sorts of other things that the kids these days do. Follow us on Medium.com and on twitter at @sbouchard67 https://ift.tt/2NSvnOH GOP: Kentucky Fried Chickens Who Waffle was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
