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Make america great again.- Donald Trump.
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight. It's the size of the fight in the dog.- Dwight D. Eisenhower.
The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what wants done, and self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it.- Theodore Roosevelt.
Discipline is the soul of an army. It makes small numbers formidable; procures success to the weak and esteem to all.- George Washington.
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Via: ExtraNews
This Weak in Politics, Vol. 206 October 31, 2019 We hope you’ve been enjoying the 144th Infrastructure Week of the Trump presidency. First, we had Sideshow Monday, then Bombshell Tuesday, followed by Train wreck Wednesday, and now impeachment Thursday. We can’t help but wonder what Effin’ Friday is going to bring. To give an even more surreal edge to all of this, it’s Halloween! And while the Trump administration is not big on tradition, the White House engaged in many seasonally appropriate activities. For example, they dispatched the Wicked Witch of the South Portico to spook neighborhood kids. White House something or other Kellyanne Conway, who is the source of her husband’s power, by the way, briefed reporters earlier this week. Even the president and first lady joined in the Halloween festivities, taking part in the decades old tradition of handing out treats to children at the White House. Like with Christmas, the Trumps put their own touch on the event, placing the treat on the top of the heads of bewildered children — a move we call Dunce Macabre. https://ift.tt/2BZexW9 Furthering their unique touch, sources tell us the Trumps skipped candy, instead giving the children a slip of paper. TWITPOL has obtained an exclusive copy which we can now share. Here’s the lovely gift the 45th president and his wife placed, inexplicably, on children’s heads. With tensions mounting, key folks in Trump’s inner circle (God, something about the phrase “Trump’s inner-circle” makes us vomit a little in our mouth) are jockeying for position, aiming to be the president’s favorite. Which is akin to getting the best bench on the poop deck of the Titanic. This became evident at the White House Halloween celebration — leading to some awkward moments like this one between Dorothies, Pence (sp?) and Graham. Lindsey Graham (left) does everything he possibly can to not call Vice President Mike Pence (sp?) “a slutty bitch,” as emasculated Chief of Staff Woody Mulvaney stands by — totally oblivious to the fact that there is literally not a soul left in America who takes him seriously. While many people creatively dressed up for Halloween, there was a hands down winner for best costume of the week. First, we will announce the runner-up. It is none other than our friend, Jim, who celebrated Halloween dressed as Justin Trudeau: Le doppelgänger du Justin Trudeau, Jim. Despite Jim’s creativity, and all the effort he put into his costume, his second-place finish wasn’t even close to the runaway winner — Donald Trump, Jr. As you can see, Don, Jr. celebrated Halloween by dressing as an obnoxious, arrogant, smug, deceitful, deplorable, self-impressed, hypocritical, whiny, delusional, offensive, cowardly, humorless, condescending, incurious, grandiose, conceited, ego-maniacal, loathsome, despicable, lying, judgmental, cocky, annoying, boring, lame, pathetic, needy, narcissistic, ignorant, hateful, deceitful, pompous, revolting, unimaginative, belligerent, patronizing, sycophantic, misogynistic, soft-headed, big-headed, smarmy, detestable, offensive, repulsive, grotesque, uninteresting, egotistical, priggish, snobby, self-satisfied, horrible, obnoxious, execrable (oh, look it up, Trump supporters), heinous, abominable, cretinous, ill-informed, nauseating, disgusting, repugnant, and otherwise unpleasant piece of shit. Well played, Donnie. Now that we’ve gotten Halloween out of the way, let’s move on to the scary stuff. Trump is still president. With that title comes enormous power, and Trump abuses power the way professional football teams abuse the Miami Dolphins. The evidence of that abuse is mounting — not quite Everest-like, but definitely approaching K2-like. Just this week alone, new hero Alex Vindman gave a first-hand account (as opposed to Trump who gave a small-hand account) of the now infamous quid-pro-quo laced July 25 call between Ukrainian President Zelensky and Trump. His testimony corroborated the whistleblower’s account, which corroborated Ambassador Bill Taylor’s account, which corroborated Former Ambassador to Ukraine, Marie Yovanovitch’s account, which actually conflicted with the account given by Ambassador Gordon Sundland, who is better known by his stage name, “Sting.” Update: Our sources inform us that Ambassador Sting is likely to file what’s known in legal circles as a “writ-a-priori do-over thingy,” as his memory may have been faulty during his first try at being truthful. Liberals are beginning to think that if the president is impeached and a trial is held in the Senate, it’s not outside the realm of possibility that he could be removed from office. Yeah right…and the Nationals are going to win the World Series. Pollyannas! With Republicans no longer believing abuse of power is a crime, it still seems likely the Senate won’t convict Trump. In other news, the president announced that Isis leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi (better known by his blues name “Al ‘Big Daddy’ Baker”) was killed while whimpering like a dog. Trump added that Baghdadi died like a dog and cowered like a dog. He then praised one of the heroes of the raid as “a beautiful dog.” As with all things Trump, there was a problem. The problem was that, again, despite its shortness, Trump stepped on his own dick. This time, by failing to take some cursory steps ahead of the raid. For example, here’s a list of the people Trump told about the Baghdadi mission: Vladimir Putin, Recep Erdogan, Scott Baio, Bashar al Assad, Barham Salih, Dennis Rodman, Matt Gaetz, a couple of donors, and Mike Pence (sp?). Here’s the list of some of the people he didn’t tell: The Speaker of the House, the Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, and his Chief of Staff, Woody Mulvaney. And finally, to the world of sports and another tradition eschewed by the president. On Sunday, he opted against throwing out the ceremonial first pitch at the World Series, claiming the required bullet-proof vest would make him look bulky. While this is pure bullshit, he does have a point. No one wants to see this: Even with small hands, the president truly is the whole package. Despite his reluctance to participate in the pre-game ceremony, both teams in the World Series wanted to give the president a fitting welcome, so each had special fan gear made expressly for Trump. As for the results, the Nationals defeated the Astros in 7 sets: 5–4, 12–3, 1–4, 1–8, 1–7, 7–2 and 6–2. And that’s the way the weak spent the week in a nation where, despite the shitstorm, we reveled in the quintessential American experience: baseball, a couple of hot dogs and a whole lot of boos. If you enjoy reading TWITPOL please seek help. But please also follow us, “clap” for this story, recommend it, share it, tweet it, and do all sorts of other things that the kids these days do. Follow us on Medium.com and on twitter at @sbouchard67 https://ift.tt/2NSvnOH Colonel Vindman Diesel & Donald Trump in: The Last Witch Hunter was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.