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Via: ExtraNews
This Weak in Politics, Vol. 197 August 29, 2019 For the third time in his 247 year presidency, Donald Trump this week attended and offended the G7 Summit. For those of you who are unaware, the G7 is a meeting of the world’s most powerful leaders plus Donald Trump. It used to be called the G8, but Russia was banned for annexing a crime for which they were punished by removal from the organization. Oops. We apologize. They didn’t annex a crime, they annexed Crimea, for which they were punished. For their crimes, they are being awarded re-entry to the G7/8 by the benefactor of their crimes. We regret literally everything about this paragraph. The summit was meant to address such critical issues as the fears of a global recession, bringing Iran to heel without the benefit of the JCPOA (translated literally: the Iran Nuclear Deal Thingy), the rift between mainland China and the people of Hong Kong, and proposals to fight the planet-threatening blaze consuming much of the amazon rainforest. Trump, meanwhile had a much narrower, laser-like focus: Trying to get the member nations to upgrade their suites to bungalows at the Trump Doral National G* Summit in 2019. https://ift.tt/2zuSnd1 The other leaders didn’t seem all that troubled by or interested, really, in Trump. That being said, he did exceeded expectations: He didn’t lose a queen, fart publicly, or shove anyone out of his way. Baby steps, people, baby steps. While Trump was not necessarily feeling the love of the member nations at the summit, the one thing he could comfort himself with is this: he had his gorgeous wife, who is absolutely smitten with him, at his side. Melania Trump, gazing lovingly at her husband at the G7 Summit in Biarritz, France Oh, shit. Never mind. You might think this is fake. It’s Trudeau. On the domestic front, Trump will now be facing two men in a Republican Presidential Primary, as former Ma. Governor Bill Weld, former Congressman (and least famous person named Joe Walsh) Joe Walsh, and former South Carolina “Governor” Mark Appalachia have all signaled they intend to run against the president. Weld plans on running on the platform that he is a less exciting Mitt Romney. Joe Walsh is running on the premise that, while he is also vile racist, it is a racism that is more in line with traditional, mainstream Republican racism. And Mark Sanford is running on the premise that he literally has nothing else to do and no marketable skills. We kid Mark Sanford. He is running on the premise that, unlike Trump, he doesn’t have to pay off his mistresses. Weld, Walsh, and Sanford (which truly does sound like a law firm) seem to have little chance at success as Trump is doing precisely what his base wants: The destruction of the everything. In just the past few days, Trump has rolled back the Endangered Species Act, gutted clean water protections, relaxed standards on methane emissions — which scientists have said play a clear role in exacerbating Chinese hoaxes — and is pushing to deport immigrant children who are in the country to get life-saving medical treatment. God, how we wish we made that up. With the election being a little more than a year away, we should expect Trump to continue on this track — so look for the decriminalization of puppy stomping, apple pie poisoning, mother-raping, and the institution of the DH rule in the National League. As for anything that members of the general public who aren’t Trump supporters, but remain undecided (wtf???), Trump is resorting to his favorite tactic — blame the black guy. Economy headed for recession? Obama. Kids held in cages? Obama. Hurricane season approaching? Obama. Trump seems to have gotten his favorite political tact from his favorite medium — television. Oh, wait, it’s not TV. It’s HBO. Or BHO if it’s bad. So, what does a president due when what some are calling “the earth’s lungs” are on fire, there’s a global slowdown, and even fucking measles is making a return (thanks again, Obama)? Announce the formation of the military’s 11th combatant command, “Space Com,”or “Space Command,” as a precursor to “Space Force” because it sounds kind of super-duper. Ostensibly, the purpose of Space Command and ultimately Space Force, is to fight extra-planetary battles against, well, whomever we are fighting in an extra-planetary war. If nothing else, it gives us an insight to what a future Ken Burns documentary might look like after a few space battles and Space War I. https://ift.tt/2Py4z7A The leadership of the command, the new flag of the command, and a bizarre twist on Trump’s hair problems all made appearances on Thursday at the White House Space Force announcement. https://ift.tt/2zsB6RU Trump seemed to really enjoy making the announcement, and VP Mike Pence (sp?) seemed to really enjoy President Trump. Speaking of space and the VP, there is a little something that seems to keep coming around in a regular and predictable pattern. That’s right, this week saw more of the persistent, non-existent rumors Nikki Haley is graciously commenting on — almost daily — that she might replace Pence. The non-existent rumors got so loud that the VP himself had to make it known that he was still scheduled to play the part of Pence in the Trump-Pence 2020 ticket. And finally, we learned this week that scientists have discovered that there is no “gay gene” per se, but that a host of genes all seem to play a role in determining someone’s sexual orientation. Being from NH, this didn’t surprise us as we have long known there was at least one really good gay gene. (If you get that, or if you are Olivia Munn, drop us a note and let us know.) And that’s the way the weak spent the week in a nation where our president spent a significant amount of his time at the G7 promoting the amenities of the “luxury suite with breakfast, free parking, and unlimited wi-fi” package to world leaders, with nary a whimper from Fox News during the anniversary week of the Tan-Suit Scandal — and 34% of the population won’t see the irony. Of course, they also don’t understand the phrase “nary a whimper.” If you enjoy reading TWITPOL please seek help. But please also follow us, “clap” for this story, recommend it, share it, tweet it, and do all sorts of other things that the kids these days do. Follow us on Medium.com and on twitter at @sbouchard67 https://ift.tt/2NSvnOH Trump at G7: Like a Bulls****er In a China Shop was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
