Below is an extract of a post published on ExtraNews titled "Greenland Acres Is The Place to Be — And Other News of The Week"
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Via: ExtraNews
Greenland Acres Is The Place to Be — And Other News of The WeekThis Weak in Politics, Vol. 196 August 22, 2019 Well, all of the jokes that once seemed far-fetched are now coming true. This week alone, the President of The United States: threatened to stop defending a NATO ally because its Prime Minister won’t sell us one of their territories that isn’t for sale; “jokingly” referred to himself as “the chosen one;” said he’d like to give himself the Medal of Honor; retweeted a tweet suggesting he was like “the King of Israel;” that same tweet was initially posted by a man who claimed the Las Vegas shooter (several hundred mass shootings ago) was a member of ISIS and that the driver in the Charlottesville murder of Heather Heyer was an actor paid by George Soros; attacked the independent Federal Reserve, including his own hand-picked chairman, Jerome Powell; and questioned the loyalty and intellect of American Jews, all while his party sat silently and watched, because tax cuts. You know, the very tax cuts that have brought the nation this: And here is a photo of the Republican Caucus responding to this news: Clockwise from top left: Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio, Kevin McCarthy, Lindsey Graham again (he is a suck-up for camera time), and Moscow “Mitch” McConnell. So, let’s start with Greenland. Greenland is a massive autonomous, island under Danish control that for some reason Trump covets. As such, he decided, unilaterally, that his upcoming trip to Copenhagen would be primarily about the United States buying the island. The purchase offer, which has been presented essentially as a demand to Denmark, seems to have come from nowhere…sort of the Space Force of diplomatic relations. Danish Prime Minister, Mette Frederiksen, rejected the sale out of hand, calling it absurd. This interaction with Mette Frederiksen marked the first time Donald Trump has ever tried to force something unwanted on a woman without her consent or interest. #MAGA — Arctic style Well, the first time other than these: Jessica Leeds Kristin Anderson Jill Harth Cathy Heller Temple Taggart McDowell Karena Virginia Bridget Sullivan Tasha Dixon Mindy McGillivray Rachel Crooks Natasha Stoynoff Jennifer Murphy Jessica Drake Ninni Laaksonen Summer Zervos Cassandra Searles E. Jean Carroll It also appears to have caught the Danes off guard, though they were able to think about the offer for about 1.64 seconds before collectively saying, “kneppe af dig svimlende, idiotisk, røvklovn.” Prime Minister Frederiksen even joined in, calling the president’s proposal “absurd.” This outraged the president, who kept disdainfully forcing the word out of his mouth as though it were one of Michelle Obama’s vegetables. Or any vegetable. Worse, he pronounced it “ab-zurd.” A human utterance so horrific it is on par with vocal fry, Dolly Parton singing Imagine, and this: https://ift.tt/2zg6CSX Ok, ok…you don’t believe us? You asked for it. https://ift.tt/2PajODM Where were we? Oh yes…we were still at the part where President Leona Helmsley was trying to force an ally to sell us an 836,300 square-mile island out of boredom or a desire to distract from everything else he reverse-Midas-touched since taking office. Speaking of that magic touch, we will turn now to the economy, which also seems to be turning. This will fulfill yet another promise by Trump: He often said on the campaign trail he was going to turn around the Obama economy. With a recession all but inevitable, growth slowing, job creation slowing, and the deficit soaring — it’s starting to look like he has. With all signs pointing to an incoming recession, the Trump White House is playing its usual role — doing one thing and saying another — denying that there is an incoming recession on one day, and on the next, floating the idea of a tax rebate to offset the incoming recession. It’s a move Trump perfected throughout his career — — creating a rosier scenario than the reality to make it appear the sky isn’t falling as the sky falls. Pretending there’s money where there isn’t, in order to scam banks and creditors. It’s a move experts call “Chapter 11 Banktrumpcy.” The economy was supposed to be Trump’s strong-suit as we head in to the 2020 election and now even that seems to no longer be a viable option. In fact, a recent Associated Press poll showed the president’s approval rating at a paltry 36%. Meaning just over 3 out of 10 people approve of the job the president is “doing.” If you are part of the 36%, there’s a decent chance you aren’t reading this because you are picking up your hood and robe at the dry cleaner. Oh, who are we kidding? Your mother is picking it up. That entire “half of Trump’s supporters could be put into a basket of deplorables” thing may have actually been grossly understated. What we are saying is there are already plenty of deplorables in the United States today, so we urge all of you with maternal instincts and wherewithal to raise your sons in a way that they don’t become a part of this growing trend. We’ve co-written a song with Waylon and Willie that states it better than words on a page could. https://ift.tt/2zhR7di Keep in mind, the grown men in the video above who were running around punching one of their friends until said friend could name five breakfast cereals believe they are a superior people. Superior by virtue of being male and from the west. They go to great lengths to make it clear they aren’t anti-women, they are just very pro-housewife. Ladies, surprisingly, but happily for you, many of them are still available. In other news, former US Ambassador the United Nations, Nikki “Oh, Nikki, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind” Haley found it necessary this week to try and quash the non-existent rumors that she might replace Vice President Mike Pence (sp?) by tweeting about the non-existent rumors that she might replace Vice President Mike Pence (sp?). Similarly, we’d like EVERYONE to stop with the false rumors that Olivia Munn has been seen spending a lot of time at our place. Finally, President Trump continued this week to take jabs at Sleepy Joe Biden for his gaffes and occasional misspeaks — with his allies noting Biden uttered the non-existent word “expodentially.” That’s right, the man who once referenced “two Corinthians,” praised the non-existent nation of “Nambia,” for its self-sufficient health-care system, believes he invented the term “prime the pump,” and recently made up the soon-to-be classic gem, “infantroopen,” is criticizing the vocabulary of others. In fairness, sometimes words need to be made up. In the 1600s, for example, it made sense that Shakespeare would have to invent a word or two or 1,700, because nothing really had names back then. (Think about it. In the 1600s the world was only 8,400 years old.) But 21st century Fakesphere over in the White House is not exactly the Bard. In 2019, creating new words is not a sign of pushing intellectual boundaries. It is a sign that you have such limited vocabulation that you have to inventify words to try and sound intellectualated. And that’s the way the weak spent the week in a nation that, at least for the time being, will be Greenland-less. Well, except for these: Greenland, West Virginia Greenland, Tennessee Greenland, Pennsylvania Greenland, Ohio Greenland, New Jersey Greenland, New Hampshire Greenland, Mississippi Greenland, Minnesota Greenland, Michigan Greenland, Maryland Greenland, Colorado Greenland, Arkansas If you enjoy reading TWITPOL please seek help. But please also follow us, “clap” for this story, recommend it, share it, tweet it, and do all sorts of other things that the kids these days do. Follow us on Medium.com and on twitter at @sbouchard67 https://ift.tt/2NSvnOH Greenland Acres Is The Place to Be — And Other News of The Week was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
