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GOP MONSTER UPDATE!William Barr Promises to Reveal Mueller Report After the Next Full Moon So He Can Finish His Transformation Into a Werewolf.BARR-k AT THE MOON!HOWLING MAD Oh, the GOP MONSTER FUN CLUB (because TREASON is FUN!) has their latest psychotic and frightening abomination taking center stage to make a mockery of justice. William “Dr. No Moles” Barr. William Barr has a copy of the Mueller report, a report that NO ONE has seen except for China, Russia, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Trump, Trump’s own Coalition of Lawyers Without Morals, and Ace Frehley & Peter Criss, the former members of KISS best known for their endeavors as successful drug testers. The rest of us have to wait,… until Barr has a chance to release a version in braille, and a version written in a form of Sanskrit not used since 100 AD. Of course, the Democrats were upset by this and loudly and passionately negotiated until Barr agreed to also release a version written in a form of Aramaic not used since 900 BC. Barr, however, insisted any linguists that attempt to translate the ancient, dead-language versions of the Mueller report be blindfolded, then hunted for sport, then (time permitting) eaten. Some feel Barr is trying to keep the report’s contents hidden, while others who are catatonic and kept alive by machines have no specific opinion. So, Barr in a surprise move, attacked and killed a henhouse filled with chickens, a bunch of farm animals, and several humans, leading some to question Barr’s intentions. Barr released this statement “Grrr. Growl. Awoooooo!”.-William Barr Inspiring words, indeed… Barr went on to say: “Grrrr! I WILL EAT YOU!”… “Also, I’ll release the Mueller report on the next full moon so I can eat all the Democrats in the House and Senate immediately after! I will bathe in their blood and dine on their entrails. My eternal hunger will never be sated. I walk in death and exist in both unholy planes as an unclean, undead, abomination. GRRRRRR!”-William Barr Sobering thoughts, indeed… So, I decided to use my journalistic instincts and diligently research these claims. (It’s reasons like these that have me commonly be referred to as “The Edward R. Murrow of This Generation”). I found a photo of Barr taken by photographer Mandel Ngan moments before his sudden disappearance when police found no signs of the photographer, except for a bloodied camera with claw marks cut through it, and some tufts of fur. Look at this first photo. Photograph by Mandel Ngan / AFP / Getty NOW, look at THIS photo taken seconds later after the moon came out from behind some clouds. Photograph taken by Mandel Ngan moments before Ngan went missing. I know. I felt that way too. Two features stand out from both photos. If you look closely at his nose, Barr had a giant cocaine booger in each picture, confirming his identity. Also, the mole on his forehead where he stores all his humanity can be seen as another distinguishing characteristic.Holy Moley Cocaine-Booger, Batman! ^Transformative. The Many Cocaine-Fueled Moods of William ‘Howling Wolf’ Barr. So, EXCITED that unclean, unholy, abomination William Barr will release the Mueller report once he’s made absoultely sure we’re all dead? Are YOU terrified because all of Trump’s monsters from his lab began to rise, suddenly to our surprise? Let us know in the comments below! Written by Steven W. Rouach FUN FACT: Every time you give a round of applause at the bottom of the page of one of my stories, I literally leap up and take a bow. True story. If You Follow Me, I Will Lead You Into Nonsense. Here’s my Facebook group (Join Us!!) http://bit.ly/2zc91w6 If you’d like to support my writing, please do so here: http://bit.ly/2zqRqRF swrouach@gmail.com ©2019 SWRouach William Barr Promises to Reveal Mueller Report After the Next Full Moon So He Can Finish… was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
