Trump Wants U.S. To Be “First To Explore The New Black Hole”



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Via: Medium

Truth in SatirePresident tells group of NASA scientists, “We can’t let China or Russia beat us to this hole”President Trump says it may be possible to weaponize a black hole. (Credit: cnn.com) President Donald Trump called on NASA scientists to “make sure we’re the first nation to explore the new black hole.” His comment came after astronomers at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics revealed on Wednesday that they had captured an image of a black hole in the Messier 87 galaxy. Mr. Trump told NASA scientists that he wants them “to get this close to the black hole, really explore the hell out of it.” (Credit: countercurrents.org) The president added that it was important for America to reach the cosmic phenomenon first ‘because we can’t let China or Russia beat us to this hole.” Mr. Trump was incensed last year when China successfully landed a probe on the dark side of the moon, the first nation to do so. Scientists familiar with the devastating power of a black hole said that Mr. Trump’s wish to “explore” one was so absurd that they simply did not know how to address it. “The Messier 87 black hole has seven billion times more energy than our own sun,” said Dr. Myers Clanston, NASA’s Senior Astronomy Officer. “Which means if you got within twenty thousand light years of it you would be sucked into its dark abyss for all eternity. The president is clearly unaware of the dimensions of interstellar doom that we’re talking about here.” Undeterred, the president wrote in a tweet on Thursday morning, “NASA assures me we will reach Messier 87 black hole by THIS SUMMER! The world is about to get a GOOD LOOK at this thing, thanks to AMERICA!” **** For more of my anti-Trump satire go here or here to see two popular past posts. Or find my book of humor at allanishac.com. Thanks for reading. –AI Trump Wants U.S. To Be “First To Explore The New Black Hole” was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.


Trump Wants U.S. To Be “First To Explore The New Black Hole”

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