Below is an extract of a post published on ExtraNews titled "Mar-A-Lago Tries New Tactic To Keep Trespassers Out — Posters Of Eric Trump At Every Checkpoint"
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Via: ExtraNews
Truth In SatireMar-A-Lago Tries New Tactic To Keep Trespassers Out — Posters Of Eric Trump At Every Checkpoint“We believe the visual shock will stop snoops, spies and intruders from getting too close to the president,” says Secret ServiceThese are some of photos being used as signage to keep unwanted guests from entering resort grounds. (Credit: twitter.com/zacbethompson.jpg and juanitajean.com.jpg) The Secret Service has instituted a new security measure at the president’s Mar-A-Lago resort in Florida after a woman gained access to the club illegally using false information and carrying a malware thumb drive. This image of Eric Trump as Voldemort even scared some law enforcement officers off the Mar-A-Lago property. (Credit: talkingpointsmemo.com) “With this latest breach, we knew we needed something innovative and, frankly, very scary to make sure spies and anarchists don’t get anywhere near the president,” said the Secret Service agent in charge of security at the resort compound, Hal Maleovin. “We went with visual terror, using giant blow-ups of Eric Trump and placing them at all checkpoints as well as along the beachfront and perimeter fences.” Some of the images were so frightening they are simply not suitable for publication. But a sampling of a number of the Eric Trump photos in use did demonstrate why the new security system is bound to be effective. This photo was used but then quickly taken down after one trespasser laughed instead of being frightened off. (Credit “We realize that this is an unusual and somewhat cruel approach, cruel to potential intruders I mean,” said Special Agent Maleovin, “but President Trump’s safety comes first and if we have to use someone like awful Eric to guarantee that Mar-A-Lago is secure, we will.” Asked why the Secret Service didn’t use photos of Don Jr. for its new “shock impact” security plan, Special Agent Maleovin responded, “We considered it, but Donald Jr. is likely to be indicted for obstruction soon and then sent to prison. How scary is a guy who’s already locked up, really? Eric has more of a freakish face anyway, especially in photos from his early years. so I think we have an almost impenetrable line of defense in place now.” According to Special Agent Maleovin about a dozen Eric Trump images are being used in rotation at the site. “But if these ever lose their fear factor, we have a back-up plan — photos of Mitch McConnell.” **** For more of my anti-Trump satire go here or here to see two popular past posts. Or find my book at allanishac.com. Thanks for reading. –AI Mar-A-Lago Tries New Tactic To Keep Trespassers Out — Posters Of Eric Trump At Every Checkpoint was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
