Below is an extract of a post published on ExtraNews titled "Wave Of Buyer’s Remorse Has Millions Trying To Return Mueller Mementos"
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Via: ExtraNews
Truth In SatireOnce seen as a savior, Bob Mueller now looks like just another Trump pawn and Americans want their money backOne souvenir manufacturer is taking back the Mueller items for only 10 cents on the dollar. (Credit: teeshirtplace.com and cafepress.com) Counting on the special prosecutor to bring President Donald Trump to justice, millions of Americans are feeling disheartened after his Russia report was released last weekend. Many of those people, who spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on Bob Mueller souvenir t-shirts, caps, mugs and other mementos, now say they want their money back. Bob Hope? Nope. “With the Mueller investigation over without succeeding to bring down the president, I have a really bad case of buyer’s remorse and I want to return all this stuff,” said a young woman in California, who asked to remain anonymous, but claims she spent more than $2000 on Bob Mueller souvenirs. “He was my hero. I had sexual dreams about him. Now, I think he’s just another Trump tool, a Republican pawn. I’m so goddamn upset.” The Mueller holy candle does not seem like such a blessing anymore. She’s not alone. One man in New York City, who had a collection of Mueller drinking cups and glasses, expressed the same level of disillusionment. “What do I want a Mueller mug for? Every time I drink from it now, I want to puke.” The same disgruntled owner said he smashed his favorite mug, emblazoned with the slogan, “Mueller Is The Man,” on the sidewalk outside his office. These “HERO” tees are being sold in bulk to a hand car wash in Texas as drying rags. An older woman who self-identified as a staunch Democrat, was seen boxing up several “Team Mueller” baseball caps at a post office in Cincinnati. “I gotta get my money back on these hats. I bought them for all the girls in my Liberal Ladies Bridge Club, but we got no satisfaction from the guy — we were had!” One of the most popular slogans, “It’s Mueller Time,” was ubiquitous on tees, buttons, and even candles. But now souvenir manufacturers are saddled with a huge inventory of unsold items. Most of America wants off the team. (Credit: cafepress.com) “Our only hope is that we can maybe pawn them off in Germany where the name Mueller is common,” said one t-shirt manufacturer. “Or even sell them to Bob Mueller himself. He can give them away as gifts at Christmas for like the next 100 years.” **** For more of my anti-Trump satire go here or here to see two popular past posts. Or find my book at allanishac.com. Thanks for reading. –AI Wave Of Buyer’s Remorse Has Millions Trying To Return Mueller Mementos was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
