Below is an extract of a post published on Medium titled "Trump’s Head, And Other Scalps, About To Roll Next Week"
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Make america great again.- Donald Trump.
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight. It's the size of the fight in the dog.- Dwight D. Eisenhower.
The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what wants done, and self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it.- Theodore Roosevelt.
Discipline is the soul of an army. It makes small numbers formidable; procures success to the weak and esteem to all.- George Washington.
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Via: Medium
Truth In SatireHere’s what to expect as special counsel Robert Mueller wraps up his Russia investigation and dispenses cold hard justiceIt’s about to be a horrible, no good, very bad day for Donald Trump and his criminal cronies. (Credit: thedailybanter.com) President Donald Trump: GUILTY WITHOUT EQUAL…of treason; collusion with a foreign power; obstruction of justice; witness tampering; sleeping with the enemy; accepting cash payments for peddling influence; pushing a vanity bridge project using taxpayer dollars; lying to Congress; lying to federal law enforcement officials; lying to his wife; being a terrible role model; moronism; bullying White House neighbors; taking golden showers without toweling off afterward; looking bloated in office; playing too much golf while serving as president. Smile, Junior, you’re prison bound. (Credit: https://ift.tt/2VeZorq) Donald Trump JR: GUILTY AS HELL …of colluding with the enemy; treason; rigging a national election; using too much hair pomade; public defense of a simpleton, by a simpleton; murdering endangered animals during frivolous hunting expeditions; looking smug at all times and never smiling. Eric Trump: EXTREMELY GUILTY…of imbecility; endangering the nation with his stupidity; representing America without an ounce of credibility or gray matter; baring his incisors and impersonating a vampire. Duh. (Credit: www.irishtimes.com) Ivanka Trump: MISERABLY GUILTY…of reckless vacuousness and high-risk bimbosity; pretending to be a person of stature on the world stage; marrying for money (because Pop’s billions are fiction); pedaling cheap apparel and fashion accessories; looking clueless at official gatherings. Jared Kushner: PAINFULLY GUILTY…of treason; accepting bribes for government favors; colluding with crown princes to obfuscate evidence in the murder of an American journalist; giving the impression of being an innocent deer in the headlights in every photograph; leveraging his Jewish guilt. Melania Trump: GUILTY BY ASSOCIATION…with a known traitor and obnoxious thug; using indecipherable foreign phrases inside the White House; degrading the First Lady’s office by advancing a cynical “anti-bullying” campaign; replacing the good china with discount Slovenian crockery; not pounding the snot out of her husband after his first extramarital affair thereby permitting him to lie and cheat again, ultimately emboldening him to run for president. Impersonating an animated hero is punishable by 10 years in max security. (Credit: knowyourmeme.com) Vice-President Mike Pence: INDUBITABLY GUILTY…of colluding with a president who colluded with the enemy; holding the nation hostage to his ultra-fundamentalist Christian dogma; giving speeches with miscalculated applause lines thereby embarrassing the nation and looking like a schmuck; posing as animated hero Race Bannon; allowing a fatally-flawed president to operate unchecked and failing to stage a coup to stop him. Advisor Kellyanne Conway: CONCLUSIVELY GUILTY…of shilling for a turncoat president on national television; putting her stocking feet up on the Oval Office couch; not listening to her very reasonable, very smart husband George Conway who has been saying since day one of this presidency that Donald Trump is a dangerous fraud; selling her soul to Fox News; abandoning a perfectly good career as a political pollster to deliver annoying polemics on behalf of a misogynistic prick of a president. Spray painting hair on a robot is a federal offense. (Credit: perezhilton.com) Cyborg Stephen Miller: GUILTY AS SIN…of frightening the shit out of an entire nation with his menacing neo-Nazi, ultra-fascist, robotic pronouncements; experimenting with various anti-balding, hair filler schemes thereby humiliating himself and by extension, the American people; allowing his mechanical parts to interfere with my cable signal; sounding evil even when he doesn’t open his mouth; putting sinister ideas in POTUS’ head; getting his replacement parts from Russia. The turtle is a traitor. (Credit: /www.pinterest.com) Senator Mitch “Terapin” McConnell: GUILTY BY WILLFUL NEGLECT…of aiding and abetting a faux-POTUS intent on dismantling American democracy; passing himself as a slow-moving turtle in order to deflect responsibility for being the prime instigator; overstaying his welcome in Congress by six or seven terms; riling a nation to the point of apoplexy with every ingratiating word he utters in front of a microphone. Sean “Houseboy” Hannity: GUILTY IN PRIME TIME…of being a brown-nosing, sycophantic, trained seal with the brain of a calimyrna fig, the conscience of a cornered scorpion, the integrity of a Fox news host (synonymous with having zero honor or honesty), and the heart of an intoxicated Siberian gulag guard. Lesser Trump Administration Players: GUILTY AS CHARGED…and they all will be charged. **** For more of Allan’s anti-Trump satire go here or here to see two popular past posts. Or check out his original Trump-themed book of mockery at allanishac.com. More Trump humor at allanishac.com. Trump’s Head, And Other Scalps, About To Roll Next Week was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
