Below is an extract of a post published on Medium titled "President Declares National Emergency After Sprinklers Break Down On Florida Golf Course"
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Via: Medium
Truth In SatireMr. Trump said he would pull funds from needy children in Detroit in order to pay for repairs at his Mar-a-Lago resortDonald Trump walking with federal officials to assess the threat at Mar-a-Lago. (Credit: https://washex.am/J32eo3) President Donald Trump, vacationing in Florida over the weekend, declared a national emergency on Saturday after the sprinklers at his Mar-a-Lago golf course failed to work. “They shut down completely,” said a frantic Donald Trump, speaking with reporters from the 18th green. “There was nothing we could do. This is obviously a threat to national recreation, which is why I’m declaring an emergency so we can urgently address this bad situation using federal funding.” President Trump presented evidence that some of the greens were so dry “you could almost hear the blades of grass screaming for help.” (Credit: www.kcur.org) The move by the president struck some critics as even more of a non-emergency than his declaration of a national threat on the southern border requiring immediate funding. “Sprinklers, are you f — king kidding me?” exclaimed Senator Chuck Schumer of New York, the Democratic leader, when told of the president’s latest gambit. “What’s next, a national emergency because he can’t find his favorite hair dye on Amazon or the chocolate chip cookies he likes?” Mr. Trump insisted that the dry greens “are really fucking up my short game.” (Credit: www.bbc.com) What is even more galling to government officials who are calling the president’s declarations of a national emergency “extreme executive overreach,” is his suggestion that money to fix his sprinklers be taken from a federally-funded program in Detroit for needy children. “These inner city kids are already used to starving because their families never had much to begin with,” said Mr. Trump, responding to the backlash, “whereas the very good people who play golf on my course have never experienced the brutal hardship of bone dry greens. There’s really no comparison if you think about it, anyone can see that.” It is not known at this time if Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh will support the president’s latest national emergency declaration as both were indisposed while receiving treatments to have more ice injected into their veins. **** For more of Allan’s anti-Trump satire go here or here to see two popular past posts. Or check out his original Trump-themed book of mockery at allanishac.com. More Trump humor at allanishac.com. President Declares National Emergency After Sprinklers Break Down On Florida Golf Course was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
