With Little To Lose, Trump Says He’ll Go Ahead And Shoot Someone On 5th Avenue



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Via: ExtraNews

Truth In SatirePresident plans to fulfill a 2016 campaign promise and pick off a NYC pedestrian, saying “Why not? I’m going to jail anyway”“I’m not going to prison without getting my rocks off first,” says the president regarding a public shooting. (Credit: elpaisanoonline.com) President Donald Trump says that with “nothing to lose” he plans to follow through on a 2016 boast and shoot someone on the streets of New York City during a new year visit to his hometown next month. Mr. Trump mimed how he would “pop someone good” on Fifth Avenue. (Credit: businessinsider.com) During his 2016 presidential campaign, Mr. Trump famously said, “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters, okay? It’s like incredible.” Until yesterday, that statement was presumed to be a joke. “Yeah, at the time I was kidding,” Mr. Trump told reporters on Saturday, “but if I’m going to prison anyway, I certainly plan on taking some innocent people out with a high profile public shooting first.” Sources close to the president say that in the past month he has come to realize that his unnecessary government shutdown, the sentencing of his former lawyer in a hush money scandal, and growing pressure from investigators into the Russia collusion case are about to topple his presidency. “Meeny, miney, moe, off to jail all three shall go…” (Credit: www.change.org) “He seems shocked that it’s all crashing down so fast,” said a White House aide, speaking on condition of anonymity. “He’s intermittently sulking and furious, whining then wrathful. He says he wants one more big TV moment before he’s dragged from the spotlight, and he believes a shooting outside of Trump Tower will be the coup de grâce of his entertaining but malevolent presidency.” Speaking with reporters outside of Mar-a-Lago on Saturday, the president added that his culpable sons, Eric and Donald Jr., asked to join him for the “high-visibility public mow down in New York” before they begin serving their prison sentences, too. But Mr. Trump denied them participation saying, “This crime’s all mine.” **** Thanks for your claps. Always appreciated. I read all your comments and answer as many as possible. Go here or here or to read two popular past posts. For my original Trump-themed book of satire, visit allanishac.com. More Trump humor at allanishac.com. With Little To Lose, Trump Says He’ll Go Ahead And Shoot Someone On 5th Avenue was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.


With Little To Lose, Trump Says He’ll Go Ahead And Shoot Someone On 5th Avenue

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