Below is an extract of a post published on Medium titled "Trump Rules Anyone Working In White House Must Have Shittier Hair Than He"
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Make america great again.- Donald Trump.
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Via: Medium
Truth In SatirePsycho advisor Stephen Miller showed up for a TV talk show with spray-on hair that made president’s toupee seem admirableSmudged spray-on hair definitely qualifies as worse than the president’s. (Credit: CBSnews.com) A new White House policy requires anyone who works for the president to have hair that is more absurd and unattractive than his own. White House employees have their work cut out for them. (Credit: www.gq.com) “It’s going to be a lot of work to have shittier hair than the president’s,” said one female White House aide in response, “but that’s the new requirement so I’ll do my best. I’m thinking of cutting mine with really dull shears while blindfolded, so it comes out looking like I escaped from an insane asylum.” White House policy advisor and resident Nazi Stephen Miller got a jump on the new “shitty hair” policy by appearing on Face The Nation over the weekend with black hair that was apparently sprayed onto his balding scalp. Hair should not look like this, even in the laughable Trump White House. (Credit: twitter.com/skolanach/status/1074339658102800384) “It’s pretty clear that Stephen will do anything to kiss up to the president, but painting his head was a surprise even to us,” said another colleague of Miller’s who has an office next to his. “Wearing dumb hair around the office is one thing, but appearing on national TV looking like that is something else entirely.” First lady Melania Trump also made it clear that she plans to abide by the new rules, appearing on Fox News last week as a blonde bimbette. Heavily bleached and hopelessly absurd. (Credit: www.thecut.com) “The first lady knows how much the president and the Fox network likes blondes, so she decided to kill two birds with one stone — please the president while looking laughable as a flaxen-haired beauty. What a fiasco that was.” Many now theorize that Vice-President Mike Pence’s strange, stone cold silence during an Oval Office meeting between the president, incoming Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senator Chuck Schumer last week was due to Mr. Trump having just told him that he needed to tousle his perfect silver coif. All of Washington is now waiting to see the mussed up Mike. **** Thanks for your claps. Always appreciated. I read all your comments and answer as many as possible. Go here or here or to read two popular past posts. For my original Trump-themed book of satire, visit allanishac.com. More Trump humor at allanishac.com. Trump Rules Anyone Working In White House Must Have Shittier Hair Than He was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
