Donald Trump’s Letter to Santa Clause



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Donald Trump
Make america great again.
- Donald Trump.


Dwight D. Eisenhower
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight. It's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower.


Theodore Roosevelt
The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what wants done, and self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it.
- Theodore Roosevelt.


George Washington
Discipline is the soul of an army. It makes small numbers formidable; procures success to the weak and esteem to all.
- George Washington.



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Via: Medium

A Young Donald Trump’s Letter to Santa ClauseCirca Christmas 1955 Nicholas, I’ll just get down to brass tacks, there’s not much I need from you at the moment — as Father has provided all I’ve needed and then some. He’s done quite well financially, as he’s found himself the proud owner of a few shantytowns. Apparently, the slumlord business is just booming here in the big apple. What I’d like to discuss with you instead, is what you might be able to bring me later in life, after Father has passed as I fear without the rather generous allowance he provides me with — I’ll end up nothing more than the host of a terrible reality television show. My eyes have already begun to grow heavy from all the writing I’ve done above. I’m going to lay my requests out in a bullet point list, because being you see it all, you must know my feelings on reading and writing. What a snooze. A terrible football team in a league sure to fold A University with my name on it, where I can collect tuition whilst providing absolutely no value at all Buildings with my name on them. YUGGGGGE buildings. Some sort of technology that allows me to share each and every one of my nonsensical and narcissistic thoughts with millions at once A news network that only says nice things about me A Slovenian fashion model with a plastic face and a heart of ice, for a wife A helicopter. With my name on it, obviously. Do I have to keep saying this? You know what, I just had a wild idea. Why don’t I just be President? I mean, after I’ve gotten bored with all of the above, of course. Maybe say, sometime around age 70, when I’m nice and ripe. Wow, this is really getting wordy. I’m almost through, stay with me big guy. A Russian friend, perhaps one that can help with the whole President thing A $5 billion wall that’ll keep Mexicans out of this country (Father says all of the ones who don’t work for us rape) People to fire Golf courses. The best golf courses. Ones perfect for shirking work, family and federal indictments A daughter that’s pretty enough to grab by the — you get my point. A Lying scheming weasel, I can call son in law. I know I’m not asking a lot, being there’s little I don’t have. I’m barely nine years old and am making more money than many of the parents of the losers I go to school with. My Father’s middle name is Christ for Chrissakes. Well, I better get back to doing what I do everyday my friend, which is trying to take over the world. I hope this letter finds you well and that you’ve finally put a bullet in that whiny reindeer’s head. Nobody likes a rat, Nick. Take your time with everything on the list, as there’s no real rush for any of it since I’ve yet to even start middle school. Plenty of time. Bye Bye Now. Sincerely, Donald J. Trump Of Course, when Fred read the letter he was so moved to see what a self centered, arrogant but ambitious bigot his son was becoming, he’d make sure his brightest boy got everything he asked for and then some, when it was all said and done. Merry Christmas! Donald Trump’s Letter to Santa Clause was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.


Donald Trump’s Letter to Santa Clause

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