Below is an extract of a post published on Medium titled "10 Things Donald Trump Told His Family After GOP Lost House On Election Night"
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Make america great again.- Donald Trump.
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight. It's the size of the fight in the dog.- Dwight D. Eisenhower.
The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what wants done, and self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it.- Theodore Roosevelt.
Discipline is the soul of an army. It makes small numbers formidable; procures success to the weak and esteem to all.- George Washington.
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Via: Medium
Truth In SatireWith the Democrats coming after his tax returns and more, the president knows what this means for his crooked, criminal clan“Oh God, the trouble we’re in now.” (Credit: businessinsider.com) It’s about to get very ugly for the Trump Crime Family. After Democrats retook the House in the hotly-contested midterms on Tuesday, Donald Trump took his family aside and prepared them for the misery ahead of them. Here, according to White House insiders, were 10 things Mr. Trump told his corrupt and crooked clan during a tearful late night meeting in the Oval Office: Ivanka, divorce the Jew. The Kushner’s money won’t do us any good now. Our only hope is to embrace the Trump family’s racism and anti-Semitism fully in the hopes that some wingnut white supremacists will storm our prison and break us out. Eric, act even more retarded. It might be your only hope for avoiding a maximum security lockup and getting thrown into a mental institution instead. Don Jr., have your ass stitched closed. Because you’re definitely going to the Big House and if you don’t seal up that flabby dookie maker of yours, it’s going to be some big jigaboo’s prized prison purse for years to come. Melania, flee. With any luck, you might be able to slip out of the country unnoticed before the Feds show up. Sorry, kid, but I think it’s back to Slovenia and lingerie modeling for you. Tiffany, stay invisible. I don’t think anyone knows we’re related yet. Let’s keep it that way if you want to stay out of trouble. Jared, after Ivanka divorces you, go to Saudi Arabia. Tell your friends there I need them to do that Khashoggi bone saw disappearance thing on Nancy Pelosi and Bob Mueller. Protect your president! Dumb and Dumber, load up the elephant rifles if you’re planning to stand and fight, boys. You know the Feds are going to bring in the big artillery, so if either of you can actually shoot those pachyderm cannons, gather your ammo and barricade yourselves on the second floor private residence. And, remember, protect your president first! Lara, one more cuchi cuchi before Eric catches on that I fathered all his children. Meet me in White House kitchen so I can nosh while we fornicate. Pleasure your president! Melania, on second thought, you and I are going to do that identity swap thing like Nick Cage and Travolta in Face/Off. It won’t hurt a bit. Then I’ll escape to Slovenia to do some lingerie modeling and you get arrested. Don’t be afraid. Protect your president! Ivana, sacrifice yourself. Go to the authorities tomorrow and tell them that as my first wife, you were responsible for all of my crimes from day one — the tax cheating, the real estate scams, the sham university, the money laundering, the dead bodies, our unethical children, the phony bank loans, the payoffs to hookers, the racist tendencies, my toupee, everything! Take the hit for me, Ivana. PROTECT YOUR PRESIDENT! ***** For my original Trump-themed book of satire, visit allanishac.com. Thanks for your claps. Always appreciated. I read all your comments and answer as many as possible. Go here or here to read two popular past posts. More Trump humor at allanishac.com. 10 Things Donald Trump Told His Family After GOP Lost House On Election Night was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
