Below is an extract of a post published on ExtraNews titled "10 Mitch McConnell Facial Expressions That Tell You He’s Through With Donald Trump"
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Via: ExtraNews
Truth In SatireAfter a crushing GOP defeat in the midterms, the Senate Majority Leader is about to abandon the president (according to his face)McConnell puts on the “I can no longer look that imbecile in the eye” face, a bad sign for Donald Trump. (Credit: https://ift.tt/2QTDBDG) Mitch McConnell’s facial expressions don’t lie. And his face is making it clear that after a GOP trouncing in the midterm elections, the Senator from Kentucky is all but done with Donald Trump. Take a look at these facial “tells” to determine just how close the Senate Majority Leader is from dumping Trump. (Credit: www.freedomworks.org) The “Christ, He Didn’t Just Fucking Say That, Did He?” Face: Every day, the moron in chief blurts out or tweets off something that sends Mr. McConnell’s face into a sagging mess of misery. Just when he thinks he’s ahead of some bad news Trump has created, the Orange Accident doubles down on some stupidity. And the Senate leader is left to ask again, “Did he really just say that?”(Credit: reddit.com) 2. The “What A Blabbering, Bloviating Bag Of Blubber” Face: Mitch McConnell should not be one to talk about bloviating bags of blubber, but he frequently does. The old man from Kentucky looks askance as one of his Senate buddies tells him about another fetid mass of stupidities Trump has just uttered that is about to make his life even more miserable than it was a minute before. (Credit: https://ift.tt/2Pz6yrW) 3. The “Too Shocked To Comment” Face: How many times have you seen this look on Mr. Mitch’s mug? A reporter confronts him with some sort of vile vomit that has just been shot from the mouth of the president and he’s struck dumb. When this old codger has the mute, deer in the headlights look, you know his patience for King Leer has run thin. (Credit: politicaldig.com) 4. The “Let Me Chew On My Bile For Just Another Minute Here” Face: Meek and turtle-like as he appears, the Senate Majority leader is famous for having a mean temper. It doesn’t blow out his ears, it simmers inside his head and then lolls around in his mouth for awhile until he expels it in a statement of frothing venom. Prima Donald has tested Mr. McConnell’s wrath one too many times and it’s clear the end is near when his dentures are displaced in this way, this often. (Credit: bostonglobe.com) 5. The “If I Have To Make Excuses For Adolf Twitler One More Time, I’m Going To Puke Or Cry” Face: Perhaps the most evil politician who has ever lived, Mitch McConnell still does have an ounce of integrity and morals left (but only an ounce). So when Benedict Donald makes a statement that clearly reveals his desire and determination to become a dictator, it is often the shriveled lizard from the south who has to “clarify” the president’s comments and make them seem not so much like a despot’s blatant attack on our democracy. But the majority leader is getting sick of this routine and wants to dethrone Trump so he can assume the role of sole oppressor himself. (Credit: itsonlywords55.com) 6. The “I Just Piddled In My Pants And It’s Not Just Because I’m Old And Incontinent” Face: We all know that Mitch McConnell often soils his trousers, but he wants us to know that it’s more than just his bad prostate. The geezer’s bladder is also tested by Hair Fuhrer’s frequent threats to unleash a nuclear holocaust on the world because someone insulted his intellect or his daughter or mocked him for being fat and slovenly. McConnell has told colleagues, “You can only go through so many pairs of underwear,” and he’s on his last pair. (Credit: nypost.com) 7. The “I Have About This Much Self-Restraint Left Before I Unleash An Unhinged Broadside On Donnie Bratso” Face: While McConnell often seems like he’s the president’s loyal lieutenant, the truth is he’d like to ram a big chunk of Kentucky coal into the president’s pie hole on a daily basis. Aides to the senator say he’s been filling his trunk with Appalachian anthracite in anticipation of putting an end to Pudgy McTrumpcake’s endless drivel forever. (Credit: https://ift.tt/2PB63xG) 8. The “Lindsey Graham And I Sit Around In The Senate Cafeteria Every Day Asking Ourselves What The Hell Happened To The Republican Party That Made Anyone Think Electing Donald Trump Was A Good Idea” Face: Uh, Senator, the rest of the goddamn country has been asking themselves the same damn question and they don’t have a good answer either. So how about you, Twinkletoes Graham, and the rest of the GOP get off your wrinkled white asses and DENOUNCE THIS DANGEROUS DICTATOR-WANNABE before he destroys America forever??!! (Credit: www.sacbee.com) 9. The “Let Me Just Adjust My Glasses And Buy Some Time So I Can Figure Out What Bullshit To Say Regarding Cheeto Benito’s Latest Affront To The Rule Of Law” Face: Whenever Mitch McConnell reaches for his glasses he’s nervous, fearful, and looking for a way to squirm out of the spotlight that’s focused squarely on his feeble leadership in the face of a scandalous, corrupt, and irredeemable presidency. Even he knows it’s a blatant “tell” that he’s had enough of The Combover Con Artist and is eager to cut the cord. (Credit: https://ift.tt/18yd44v) 10. The “I Just Heard The Good News That Donald Trump And His Entire Family Are About To Be Indicted By Bob Mueller” Face: Which would save the GOP leader from having to publicly censure and condemn Sir Sissypants, thus possibly endangering his own reelection chances in the State of Kentucky where there are still enough toothless rednecks who believe Donald Trump will restore the coal mining industry, bring back their jobs, and legalize moonshine along the way. The senator is ecstatic that Trump is going to be impeached, and possibly sent to jail, without him having to get involved. It’s enough to make a turtle leave his shell and dance the Kentucky two-step. **** For my original Trump-themed book of satire, visit allanishac.com. Thanks for your claps. Always appreciated. I read all your comments and answer as many as possible. Go here or here to read two popular past posts. More Trump humor at allanishac.com. 10 Mitch McConnell Facial Expressions That Tell You He’s Through With Donald Trump was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
