Trump Children Remove Family Name From Birth Certificates Citing “Security Risks”



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Via: ExtraNews

Truth In SatireFollowing lead of NY condo residents who pried Trump signage from their building, president’s scions hope to purge identitiesEric, Donald and Ivanka Zelníčková? (Credit: politics.theonion.com) Another Trump residential tower in Manhattan announced last Thursday that it will remove the president’s name from its opulent facade after claiming that “antipathy, security risks and reduced property values” necessitated the move. A condo residence at 200 Riverside Blvd. in Manhattan is removing its “TRUMP PLACE” building signage citing security risks. (Credit: www.huffingtonpost.com) Taking a cue from their condo residents, President Trump’s eldest children, Donald Jr., Eric and Ivanka, are reported to be taking a similar tact, deleting their father’s famous name from their birth certificates. “Obviously, like our tenants, carrying the Trump name exposes us to public antipathy, security risks, and a dramatic reduction of our value as celebrities,” said the Trump children through their lawyer. “Therefore, we will no longer be known as Trumps, but rather as Donald, Eric and Ivanka Zelníčková.” Zelníčková is their mother Ivana’s maiden name. The Trump name has been pried off three other NYC apartment buildings in the past. The Trump children plan to follow with their own “delete.” (Credit: www.nytimes.com) The controversial name change comes as Special Counsel Robert Mueller is eyeing indictments against all three Trump children for a variety of crimes, from collusion to tax fraud. Some legal experts are speculating that the surname change to Zelníčková is an attempt by the three to conceal their identities from law enforcement, although it’s a dubious strategy. “They can’t just become Zelníčkovás and expect that we won’t find them,” said a prosecutor in Bob Mueller’s office, who spoke off the record. “They have three of the most recognizable faces in the world. Whether Trump or Zelníčková, we’ll locate them, arrest them, indict them, and prosecute them.” The Zelníčkovás had no further comment. **** For my original Trump-themed book of satire, visit allanishac.com. Thanks for your claps. Always appreciated. I read all your comments and answer as many as possible. Go here or here to read two popular past posts. More Trump humor at allanishac.com. Trump Children Remove Family Name From Birth Certificates Citing “Security Risks” was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.


Trump Children Remove Family Name From Birth Certificates Citing “Security Risks”

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