Below is an extract of a post published on Medium titled "Stephen Miller and the UNFORTUNATE Results of Eating Glue!"
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Via: Medium
TRUTH IN SATIRE!His head is the warning label.From The New England Journal of Medicine, a photo depicting the unfortunate medical effects of eating glue. Ah, eating glue… many of us haven’t. We’re bound to things like logic and good sense. However, some of us have eaten glue, despite the many warnings from doctors and scientists who describe the effects of eating glue in medical terms as “Not Great”, and is thus frowned upon by them. Here’s how a physician looks at a patient that eats glue. :( See how upset she is? That’s right, SHE’S a doctor. Because she never drank glue! Anyway, Stephen Miller’s third-grade teacher (a human, from Earth), recently said that Miller ate glue as a child. She said this because she had not personally witnessed Stephen Miller eating lead-based paint chips, uranium-enriched spider eggs, or soiled and moldy copies of Orwell’s “1984”,… she had only witnessed Stephen Miller drinking glue. So, as a responsible and unbiased journalist, I decided to look into the effects eating glue would have on an abhorrent monster that looks like a walking, giant, human toe, such as Stephen Miller. I spoke to Miller’s mother, who I’m sure has a name, and here’s what she said: “Well, I originally wanted to name him “Y” because when he was born — I held him up to the sky and cried — ‘OH, WHY GOD, WHY?’…” “Honestly, my very first parental instinct was to hurl him right out of the closest open window, but the doctors in the delivery room who weren’t weeping, or making the sign of the cross, prevented me from doing so. They later regretted their decision, as did we all…”“For the first 14 years of his life I fed him nothing but glue and Pine Sol, but that only made him stronger!” Inspiring words, indeed… There are obvious visual indications of the effects of eating glue. It rapidly ages you. That’s why at 32 years old Stephen Miller looks like he was born right around the same time dinosaurs became extinct. For an example, here’s a picture of Jeffrey, a boy who drinks glue and just turned 11 years old. As you can see from this above photo, young Jeffrey “Foghorn” Beauregard Sessions, 11, glued his lips shut from drinking glue. You can see how old, and horrible, and racist he looks, due to the unfortunate medical side effects of glue drinking as part of a child’s diet. Here’s a photo of when a 14-year-old Stephen Miller accidentally glued his hand to his head. So, as you can see there are many dangers to glue drinking. I went through Miller’s mother’s childhood pictures of Miller, that were in a box labeled “things to make me feel very sad and remorseful” and found another, earlier photo. So: Here’s a photo of a 6-year-old Miller. Disturbing imagery, for sure. So, what can we do? Well, for one thing, we need to ensure our own children DON’T drink glue. This can be achieved by sitting your child down and telling your toddler “Hey brainiac, DON’T drink glue! Or else, THIS will happen”: and show them a picture of Miller. THEN run, don’t walk, to your closest child psychologist to help your child through the trauma of looking at Stephen Miller. I only hope this article helps and informs about this dangerous issue. Written by Steven W. Rouach swrouach@gmail.com FUN FACT: Every time you give a round of applause at bottom of the page of one of my stories, I literally leap up and take a bow. True story. If You Follow Me, I Will Lead You Into Nonsense. Here’s my Facebook group (Join Us!!) https://ift.tt/2zc91w6 If you’d like to support my writing, please do so here: https://ift.tt/2zqRqRF ©2018 SWRouach Stephen Miller and the UNFORTUNATE Results of Eating Glue! was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
