Below is an extract of a post published on ExtraNews titled "Trump Orders Enormous Sponges To Coast “To Soak Up Storm’s Tremendous Wetness”"
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Via: ExtraNews
Truth In SatirePresident wants FEMA to implement a dubious plan to prevent Florence’s catastrophic rains from overwhelming CarolinasPresident Trump calls Hurricane Florence a “10-sponge super storm.” (Credit: cbsnews.com) Exhibiting his poor understanding of the devastating nature of major hurricanes with their life-threatening rainfall totals and violent storm surges, President Donald Trump called on FEMA to send “enormous sponges to coastal states to soak up Florence’s tremendous wetness.” Mr. Trump said big sponges will be dropped inland and rolled to the coast, “soaking up rainwater as they go along — it’s an amazing plan.” (Credit: justlatestnews.com) Speaking from the Oval Office on Thursday, Mr. Trump added, “They haven’t seen anything like what’s coming at us in 25, 30 years, maybe ever. It’s tremendously big and tremendously wet with tremendous amounts of water that only industrial-strength sponges can handle. I’m calling it a ‘10-sponge super storm.’” Hurricane experts asked about the president’s sponge plan seemed perplexed. “I have no f — king idea what he’s talking about,” said Karl Delugian, a forecaster at the National Weather Center in Charleston, SC, the state that is expecting to see the worst of Hurricane Florence’s fury. “This is not a job for sponges of any kind, industrial or not. Keeping people alive and limiting the damage from a major hurricane is going to require all the resources of the federal government and law enforcement officials. Sponges are NOT the answer.” President Trump says Hurricane Florence will require more than paper towels, which he threw to Puerto Ricans after Hurricane Maria. (Credit: cnn.com) Asked where he came up with his emergency sponge plan, which he seems to have conceived without consulting federal emergency response officials, President Trump said, “We limited the death toll in Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria to five or six people by distributing lots of paper towels, remember? You probably even saw me throwing those absorbent rolls out to the people personally. But Florence is much bigger than paper towels. That’s why we’re deploying the federal government’s entire arsenal of really big sponges. We’re on it.” In fact, the death total in Puerto Rico has been revised to almost 3000 inhabitants, not “five or six” as the president claimed, and handing out paper towels to Puerto Rican storm victims did nothing to limit deaths or damage caused by the storm, according to the Trump administration’s own FEMA officials. **** For my original Trump-themed book of satire, visit allanishac.com. Thanks for your claps. Always appreciated. I read all your comments and answer as many as possible. Go here or here to read two popular past posts. More Trump humor at allanishac.com. Trump Orders Enormous Sponges To Coast “To Soak Up Storm’s Tremendous Wetness” was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
