Below is an extract of a post published on ExtraNews titled "10 Shocking Surprises Awaiting Melania When She Returns To Her Native Slovenia"
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Via: ExtraNews
Truth In SatireIn the First Lady’s country of origin, they plan to let her know exactly what they think of her marriage to the moron presidentWhat happens when you return home hoping for a heroine’s welcome and get goulash thrown at your face instead? (Credit: TMZ.com) When Melania Trump, wife of the world’s most despised politician, returns to her home country of Slovenia for the first time since becoming First Lady, the reception her compatriots are preparing for her may not be to her liking. Slovenian–U.S. relations are about to suffer some setbacks. (Credit: thesupremereport.wordpress.com) According to political activists operating in the capital city of Ljubljana, the animosity felt toward President Donald Trump is darkly coloring perceptions of his third wife and Slovenia’s native daughter. That’s why they have plans to leave indelible impressions of their disapproval for the American president with the First Lady and bestow upon her parting gifts designed to roil Trumplethinskin. Here is just some of what Melania can expect when she steps onto Slovenian soil: Melania’s big boobs will be put on embarrassing display in Slovenia. (Credit: evoke.ie) When she arrives in Slovenia, Melania will be asked to present three passports: one for herself and one for each of her enormous boobs. Her recent “kidney operation” left her with breasts that constitute separate individuals, and the authorities in her home country plan on making that awkward point upon her entry into the country to embarrass America’s First Lady and, in turn, her despicable husband. In a related humiliation, the woman born Melanija Knavs in an Alpine town called Novo Mesto in 1970 will find that her birth records have been changed. Instead of Melanija Knavs, her birth certificate will now read “Melania Knockers.” Ouch! Sevnica, where Melania grew up, is undergoing a name change. (Credit: rollingstone.com) 3. Melania grew up in Sevnica, a small rural village of about 5,000 residents about 90 minutes from Slovenia’s capital. But she’ll have a rude surprise when she revisits her hometown and discovers that its name has been changed to “Obamaville,” in a clear slap to Donald Trump and his ongoing feud with the former American president, Barack Obama. Melania and Karen McDougal, a former Playboy Playmate, were the inspiration for a new humiliation slipper made in Slovenia. (Credit: footwearnews.com and rollingstone.com) 4. When Mr. Trump became president, a local shoe manufacturer in Sevnica began manufacturing a Melania slipper to honor the new first lady. But, low and behold, the boiled wool slipper had a fuzzy bunny tail on the toe, reminiscent of the one’s on Playboy Bunny costumes. When it became known recently that the American president paid a former Playboy Playmate to stay hush on their affair, the Slovenian manufacturer saw a business opportunity and renamed the slippers, “Benedict Donald’s Bedroom Bunny Mules.” They’re selling like hotcakes now. Sevnica Castle, now featuring The Tweeter Dumb Dungeon. (Credit: welcomemap.si/place/sevnica-castle/) 5. There is a famous 12th-century castle in Sevnica that all the townspeople are proud of, with an equally famous dungeon. Slovenians want Donald Trump to know that he is welcome there anytime and, in honor of Melania’s visit, have placed a sign over it’s entrance that reads “The Tweeter Dumb Dungeon.” Welcome Donald! 6. Slovenia’s largest lingerie manufacturer, Lisca, has its home in Sevnica, and once again, a Slovenian enterprise sees an opportunity to make some money while mocking the lowlife American president and his wife. Lisca is coming out with a new lacy ensemble called the “President Chaser,” a reference to the First Lady’s scantily-clad courting of America’s faux president. Ooh la lingerie! (Credit: https://ift.tt/2O6Z5eZ and rank.ezvid.com and savinggracedelano.org) 7. A Russian-style Pee-Pee Party is planned for the streets of Slovenia every night that the First Lady is in her native country. Organizers plan to hand out hundreds of thousands of hay-colored wigs, resembling Donald Trump’s own tresses, and will shower pee-colored lemonade from firetrucks onto the masses to taunt Melania and her husband, in absentia. What fun! Anybody want a bad wine made in the Trump tradition? (Credit: abc13.com) 8. Slovenian vinters introduced a “First Lady” wine in her home country when Donald Trump was inaugurated. Unfortunately, it sold about as well as the president’s own failed vintages under the Trump Winery brand. What to do with all those bottles of quite undrinkable, purely promotional, exploit-the-moment swill? The vinters are getting together on the first night of Melania’s arrival and will empty every bottle of the cheap red vino in front of the First Lady’s hotel in a kind of “blood in the streets” tribute to the Trump administration. Mayor Srečko Ocvirk will hand Melania the keys to a city, but not in Slovenia. (Credit: www.theguardian.com) 9. Srečko Ocvirk, the mayor of Sevnica, has lined up a very special greeting for America’s First Lady when she shows up. The local politician is going to hand her the keys to the city, but with an amusing twist. The keys will be to the city of Moscow, not Sevnica. Mr. Ocvirk says the gesture will underline Donald Trump’s too cozy relationship with Russian leader Vladimir Putin, who is no friend of the Slovenian people. “Melania wants keys, she’ll get keys, but to the capital of the country to which she and her husband have sold out. We don’t want her opening any doors in Sevnica.” 10. As a final statement of protest against President Trump’s racist immigration policies, Melania is expected to be summoned by the Slovenian authorities just days after her arrival and questioned for hours about the true purpose of her visit. They will impress upon her that they don’t want a “Trump” seeking refuge in their country, once her country, and then they will unceremoniously whisk her off to the Ljubljana airport and have her deported back to the United States. So long, our dear Slovenian sister! **** For my original Trump-themed book of satire, visit allanishac.com. Thanks for your claps. Always appreciated. I read all your comments and answer as many as possible. Go here or here to read two popular past posts. More Trump humor at allanishac.com. 10 Shocking Surprises Awaiting Melania When She Returns To Her Native Slovenia was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
