Below is an extract of a post published on ExtraNews titled "10 Possible Outcomes For Trump-Rosenstein Meeting Thursday"
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Via: ExtraNews
Truth In Satire#10. Deputy Attorney General arrives at the Oval Office with law enforcement officials and arrests president on treason chargesTheir meeting could go any of 10 different ways, none of them good for Mr. Trump. (Credit: thedailybeast.com) Donald Trump has summoned Rod Rosenstein to the White House on Thursday to discuss allegations that the deputy attorney general was preparing to invoke the 25th Amendment to have the president removed from office. There is much speculation about the outcome of that Thursday meeting. Here are the 10 most likely scenarios: Trump fires Rod Rosenstein: In which case the nation responds in an uproar, voters turn out in unprecedented numbers for the midterm elections, the Democrats retake both Houses of Congress, and Trump is impeached shortly thereafter. Rosenstein submits his resignation: In this instance, the public will react in sympathy with the deputy attorney general, voters will show up in never-before-seen numbers for the midterms, there will be a Blue Wave, and Trump will be impeached by January. Trump doesn’t show up because he is afraid of Rosenstein: This will be viewed as a sign of weakness by the president. Americans will consider Rosenstein the winner of their stand-off and will assume the president is guilty in the Russian collusion case. They will demand his resignation, thereby driving Mr. Trump from office. Trump sends Melania in his place: If the president forces his wife to stand in for him at the meeting, it will look as if Melania wears the oversized suit pants in the family, not Mr. Trump. In this case, there will be a surge of write-ins during the midterms that will favor the first lady, who will be elected the first woman president of the United States, with Mr. Rosenstein the odds-on favorite to become her vice-president. Doofus Son #1 and Doofus Son #2 show up with elephant rifles: If Eric and Donald Trump Jr. bust into the Oval Office with weapons in hand, this would be seen as an intimidation tactic, an attempt to get Mr. Rosenstein to buckle and end the Mueller investigation. Again, the nation would react with outrage, storm the White House, remove Doofus #1 and Doofus #2, confiscate their rifles, pass massive anti-gun legislation AND write in Melania’s name anyway, or possibly Michelle Obama’s, to makeone of them president. Hopefully, Michelle. Not a good result for Mr. Trump. Mr. Trump tries to pin Mr. Rosenstein to the ground with his substantial girth while Russians employed by the White House attempt to kidnap the deputy AG. Wow. That’s crazy, right? But ENTIRELY possible with this president and his ties to Russia. If there is a kidnap attempt, Americans will take to the streets to find and free Mr. Rosenstein wherever the Russians may be hiding him. He’ll return to his loving public a true hero, while Mr. Trump will be thrown in prison. Mr. Rosenstein would be named, by will of the people, the first Jewish president of the United States. No need for any sort of election. Kavanaugh-Ford hearings steal public attention away from Trump-Rosenstein meeting causing the president to cancel on the deputy AG: The president does everything for applause. He needs an audience. But the Kavanaugh-Ford appearances before the Senate on Thursday have the higher ratings-getting power which is going to annoy Mr. Trump. Without ratings he won’t be interested in the meeting with the deputy AG at all. Mr. Rosenstein will arrive at the White House only to be told that the meeting is called off, canceled, a no-go. He’ll then be told to return to his job as if nothing has happened. Mr. Trump will present Mr. Rosenstein with a sweet condo offering in Boca Raton: This might be a smart strategy on the part of the president — an attempt to bribe Mr. Rosenstein — but the deputy AG has brains where Mr. Trump has rolls of fat and he will never fall for it. Despite the fact that his mother is retired in Boca Raton, Mr. Rosenstein will reject the condo offer and continue to put the screws to the president. Mr. Trump won’t be able to fire the deputy AG and Mr. Rosenstein won’t resign. Now let’s see who’s the last man standing. AG Jeff Sessions will accompany Mr. Rosenstein to the meeting in a show of solidarity. This would certainly piss off the president and cause him to pop a cork. He would likely rise from his chair to spew venom at Mr. Sessions, rupture the carotid artery in his neck, and die of internal bleeding. In this case, Mike Pence would immediately become president and plunge the country into Christian darkness, which would cause the nation to finally see the light. The Blue Wave in November would be bigger than ever, Pence would be impeached on the grounds that Christians are boring and asexual, and Paul Ryan would then become president by virtue of constitutional line of succession. But Ryan would be quickly removed from office for being even more boringly Christian and asexual, at which time Orin Hatch would become president. But Hatch is 103-years-old and not long for this world, so hang on people, it’s almost over. Deputy Attorney General arrives at the Oval Office with law enforcement officials and arrests President Trump on treason charges. Experienced political observers agree that this is the most likely scenario for the Thursday meeting between President Trump and Deputy AG Rosenstein. They see the Harvard-educated Rosenstein as having planned this all well in advance. He’s been keeping the president off guard, making him think he’s in control, when actually the deputy AG has been steering the Justice Department toward the Thursday moment for months. Have you noticed that it is Mr. Rosenstein who seems to have engineered the Thursday meeting, not the White House? That’s the way Mr. Rosenstein drew it up. He’ll arrive at the White House with a team of Justice Department officers and arrest Mr. Trump (and possibly his entire family) for treason against the country, fully-armed with indictments signed, sealed and delivered by Special Counsel Bob Mueller’s office in the early morning hours of Thursday. That’s what’s going to happen, right Rod? That’s the way it’s going down, isn’t it? Isn’t It? Thursday is going to be SO AWESOME! **** For my original Trump-themed book of satire, visit allanishac.com. Thanks for your claps. Always appreciated. I read all your comments and answer as many as possible. Go here or here to read two popular past posts. More Trump humor at allanishac.com. 10 Possible Outcomes For Trump-Rosenstein Meeting Thursday was originally published in Extra Newsfeed on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
